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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,

I appreciate and agree with the feedback.  I am feeling kind of uncomfortable but my goal is completely to be joyous and celebrate with my SIL.  I needed this feedback to help me get properly oriented.

It is a situation where there is an age difference and that may be some of it.  I will say that there was some miscommunication as in my mind when I offered my house that meant I would be hosting the party not "co-hosting" as has been described but maybe I can "co-host".  It's not something I've done before in my house but I can try.

I truly want this is be a fun and celebratory experience for all.

Thanks![/quote]

Unclench.  Seriously.  It was the friend's idea, and you're swooping in to take over.  If you do that, your SIL's friend will be really hurt, and I guarantee your SIL will hear about it and it will damage your relationship with her.

Yes, you can co-host.  Talk to the friend about budget, menu, guest list, etc., and do not assume that because you offered your house, you get to decide everything.  You can limit how many guests, and you can veto activities or catering that doesn't work in your home, but you have to be generous here.  It's not about you, it's about your SIL, and she will not be happy if her friends are shut out.  [/quote]

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