Reply to If your parents divorced when you were not a minor, how did it affect you?

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[quote=Anonymous]My folks divorced when I was 24 and working my first job. Mom told me while I was still at work and running from one meeting to the next. I was completely mortified and devastated, it came out of nowhere.

The issue is that my brother was 21, living at home with his girlfriend and their "oops" baby. He barely graduated high school and was floating from one crappy job after another. GF dropped out of HS in 11th grade. Her family threw her out of the house as soon as she became pregnant and she had to shack up with my parents and high school-aged sister. That entire arrangement completely WRECKED my parents' marriage.

Dad hated the pregnant GF and felt she was just trying to "leech" onto the family. My mom, of course, wanted her to be safe and have a healthy baby. Meanwhile, I was living across the country, in college, and oblivious to all the tension back at home. My sister spent her HS years practically raising that kid, she didn't get to have a fun high school experience. Dad kept working more and more overtime, he couldn't stand being in that house.

As soon as my sister left for college, my mom served my dad divorce papers. She was miserable, he was miserable, my brother's now-wife was miserable, my brother was miserable that he had no education and just wanted to get out of that house (he enlisted in the Marines).

Overall, it was a completely f#cked situation. My sister has not spoken with my father in over 7 years and he has never seen his grandchildren.

Both parents are happily re-partnered. My dad got married to a subservient Filipino nurse he met at his new church. She's nice, but we don't have a close relationship. I have no idea what he sees in her. She has grown children, but one that suffers from a TBI. Thankfully, my step-mother has her own money. My mom and her live-in boyfriend just bought a house together while renting out their existing properties. They have no intention of re-marrying, but have a pretty good legal framework for dividing shared assets.

It is what it is. I'm about to propose to my GF, but I'm hitting my late 30s. I feel like the divorce prolonged my adolescence and I've done whatever I can to avoid "bad news" and making others angry. It also sucks to divide my time between the two of them over holidays, as they live about 50 miles apart. I do a LOT of driving in rental cars when I go home.[/quote]

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