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[quote=Anonymous]We spot check occasionally. If she seems abnormally moody or stressed, sometimes we check for clues. If she's breaking rules and getting in trouble at home, we check to see if something deeper is going on that she'd discuss with friends but not us.

Once she had been stressed out and snapping at everyone at home for a few days and it was becoming intolerable. I checked her phone overnight and found out she was stressed because her bff was depressed and cutting, and she was talking to their third bff trying to figure out how to help her without breaking her confidence. Checking her texts allowed me to take the burden off her shoulders and handle the situation, because an adult needed to step in and help.

Usually though, it's just crazy teen crap that I don't understand and/or don't care about. I never use anything I learn that way against her. But then again she hasn't done anything bad like bullying or planning a bank heist, so I guess I would respond differently if I found something terrible.

I check less as she gets older and has shown she's more responsible. [/quote]

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