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[quote=Anonymous]To the posters at 13:36, 14:44, and 15:45, thank you. Great messages.

I was married for almost 28 years and the final five years (and the divorce) took a real toll on my self-esteem.  I am sure many others (both men and women) feel this way.

When I was dating 30 years ago I was looking for someone with whom I could start a family.  Now, I am looking for someone with whom I can enjoy life (e.g., travel, go out to dinner, etc.)

I think some of the on/off, mixed message, pursue and pull back issues relate to self-esteem and current dating goals.  For me, I will not pursue a relationship without a very clear message that the woman is interested.  In the past, because I was looking for someone to start a family with, I might have pushed harder in the earlier stages of dating if I thought she was interested me but not sure about a relationship, etc.

Now, unless she is very clear that she is interested in me, I am will not contact her.  I do not want to waste her time or mine.[/quote]

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