Reply to Ladies - Does actively pursuing a man you like work? Anyone got their hubby this way?

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Reply to "Ladies - Does actively pursuing a man you like work? Anyone got their hubby this way?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why dont you ask your friends since you say they did it and had success?[/quote]

With the guys that this worked, did they willingly and joyously ask her to marry him?  I'm assuming they aren't quite as non-traditional where she asked him to marry her.  Also checking this wasn't a lazy factor where they stay with her, but aren't looking to marry her.  Also, does the guy appreciate his wife and feels like he won a big prize, and doubly so because she pursued him?  Were they friends/co-workers first and she pursued him?  I would get more details from the guys that are saying this worked.[/quote]

Pp is right that you're over thinking this. I'm the pp who met dh at work and got turned down by him the first time around. He took awhile to propose and by the time he did it it was an issue between us. And he didn't day ILY until 6 months. If you listened to dcum then he was just not that into me and we're doomed and he's a beta or something ridiculous. Frankly if I decided to look just at his actions without factoring in his personality and everything I knew about him I'd have dumped him.

Real life is frequently more complicated than stereotypes and once you're in a real life relationship then things are way different because you're both fully formed people. For my dh I was his first real serious relationship which is why he was less sure in all those scenarios. He is a person who makes decisions slowly but once he's three he makes them decisively. He is also incredibly devoted to me and our daughter today. He is kind, loving, but he's also quiet and he shows me he loves me in his own ways.

He's an individual, has good parts and bad parts. Whatever guy at work you're into has good parts and bad parts too and that has nothing to do with him being your co-worker. My only advice is to fugue or if he's the kind if guy who can break up well and amicably because that is the only real risk you're taking in starting something up[/quote]

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