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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have to "next" every guy who doesn't show adequate interest. This is how you'll eventually come across that difficult-to-find person who you are interested in who also is really interested in you.

Don't give anyone more than 1-2 months of dating without having a pretty clear idea they are really into you and consistent about showing it.

Also, don't do any chasing or pursuing. Just be very responsive to the moves they make. If you do the chasing, you won't get to see for yourself whether they are very interested in you..

Finally, try to identify 1-2 qualities that are a big deal to most women but are not a big deal to you.  I'll illustrate this with an example - My husband is really a great "catch" but he is "only" 5'10."  A lot of women insist on someone quite tall and height was never a really big thing to me. So I didn't focus on tall guys. I focused on guys a little bit shorter so I didn't have to sell myself short (see what I did there? ;) )on other things I cared about. I have another friend who likes both white guys and asian guys. Since asian guys are less in demand (no offense asian guys...) she decided to focus on them. She just married a wonderful asian guy who she is very attracted to and treats her like gold.

Those are my tips!

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I know a number of women who have tried this strategy to avoid "selling themselves short" (i.e. marrying a less successful man), but it rarely works. Very successful guys don't take a discount on market value just because they're short.  I know a wealthy guy who's 5'5", divorced and with 2 adult kids he spends a lot of time with. Women pursue him endlessly.

Most women who are able to marry a guy above their league did some subtle pursuing along the way.

[/quote]

I am PP. It worked for me, and I didn't do any pursuing. I didn't say my husband was a CEO at 32 either, so maybe your definition of "very successful" is not what I meant by "catch." I am very pleased with my lot, though.

In any case I'll add that if you pursue your husband before marriage you'll be doing it afterwards, too... something to think about. [/quote]

Sorry, that's a myth in my experience.

I know plenty of women who dated men below their league. These men pursued intensely because they weren't used to being able to date decent looking women from good backgrounds. These men didn't treat their wives like prizes after marriage. Many sat around while the wife ended up making more than half the household income and doing all the chores.  Meanwhile, the women I know who quietly made things happen with better quality men ended up with great marriages and awesome lifestyles.[/quote]

No where did I say ANYTHING about "below their league." There is an element to compatibility and love to all of this, too, believe it or not. In other words, if you take 10 men who are roughly of the same high quality, 9 of these men might marry you if you do some of the work for them because they believe you will continue to be easy to deal with after marriage and that is appealing. But 1 of them might actually share a strong connection with you and be particularly attracted to your physical type, motivating him to pursue you a little above and beyond. It's quite nice to be married to such a man. But then again there are women who just care about "awesome lifestyles" and don't actually want a strong connection with their husbands anyway. Maybe that's you and your friends. Rock on. [/quote]

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