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Reply to "OMG tween just had epic tantrum"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ignore him. When he has calmed down and eaten something you can have him clean up the mess he made. He also will need to skip the next play date because this one tired you out so much that you need to first recover. Agree with this and it took me years and therapy to learn to do this [/quote][/quote] This is 100% correct answer.[/quote] This is what we learned intherapy with our 11 year girl who has anxiety and throws epic tantrums. Walk away. She eventually learned to control angry outburst, take time and then come talk to us. Do not meet angry with angry. [/quote] Can you please share how she learned to calm down from an angry outburst? This is a NP and we feel like we've tried everything for our 13 year old's meltdowns. [/quote] Well we all had therapy. First DH and I had to learn to take an empathic approach and not angry and punishing. We talked to her about the angry when she was happy and in a good mood. We worked on strategies to deal with anger in an appropriate way. For us, it's acceptable to go into her room, close the door and scream and cry on her bed or in her closet. So we just point to her room and sometimes guide her when we see it coming. If she starts screaming at us we walk away. Every time. It is so tempting to react or punish but with our kid it only escalates. The therapist found some things DD likes to do to calm down. She writes in her journal and has construction paper she's allowed to tear up. She is responsible for clean up of any mess she makes and once we enforced that, she stopped throwing her stuffed animals and clothes around the room. In OPs situation I would have ignored my child and taken the playmate into another room. Check to see if friend is ok. Explain that, DD is angry and we are going to wait for her to calm down. (We have been in this scenario). It also helps that we know she is triggered by anxiety. It's easier to have empathy and to predict when these problems are going to happen. Also, we limit screen time because that seems to make her more anxious and moody. You may have tried all these. It helps to talk to a professional, even if only for three or four visits. [/quote]
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