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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is easy to see red flags in retrospect. This is like asking me as a special needs mom "What was a red flag?" And I would say, she wasn't walking or talking at 12 months. But your child who wasnt walking and talking at 15 months was just fine. So there is no formula here.[/quote]

Totally agree. My XH cheated on me in egregious fashion and everyone was beyond shocked. There were times in the beginning he could be a little lazy or selfish, but really no worse than all the other husbands I know that stay faithful, and he had more good qualities than them too. Try to make good decisions but you really can't ensure something bad won't happen. The most important thing? I would say to look for is reciprocity. I used to say to my X, it's always the Tom show! (Not his real name) but we would laugh about it. His dumb needs came first, and it didn't seem nefarious at the time. Sort of the way you would deal with a younger sibling's indulgent behavior. Like this is our family, we all have our quirks. He does love me he does care about me it's OK he just likes to be comfortable and wants what he wants whatever. Never again. I will be adored by my next husband and never put my own needs last.

Wonderful marriages are out there. Best of luck OP.[/quote]

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