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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "How much "maintenance" on your appearance do you do?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months. [/quote] +1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.[/quote] With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, :D) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.[/quote] I always have trouble with people saying they work 60-70 hours/wk with multiple small children, then implying that they are home every night and have weekends off. When, exactly, are you working and taking care of kids? At some point, you are just lying. 60+ hours/wk with evenings and weekends off and still cooking from scratch and taking care of kids is what? Getting up at 3:30am, leaving at 4:00am, getting to work at 4:30 am, working until, what, 5pm? Then coming home at 6pm, cooking dinner, feeding kids, bath, story, bed at 8pm, then clean up, bottle prep for daycare, working out, and to bed at what, 10pm at the earliest. Come on, either you don't actually work 60+ hours/wk, you are lying about having hours to yourself on the weekends and evenings to do whatever you want, you only need to sleep four hours a night, or you have some very significant help with housework and childcare outside of your working hours, either from a spouse or housekeeper/nanny. If that's what it is, just say so. "I am able to do this because my husband is a SAHD and takes care of everything at home," or "I have an amazing nanny who is able to take care of three kids and get most of the housework done so I don't have to worry about it," or "I am one of those people who only needs to sleep 5 hours/night, so I have time to work out and get facials." Don't say "oh, it doesn't take that much time, anyone can do it." [/quote] She's right though. It doesn't have to take that much time. And you're projecting, throwing in the cooking bits. She's talking about 5-10 minutes in the morning and 1.5 hours on weekends. That's not a lot of time. If you can't afford 5 minutes in the morning, you're doing something wrong. If you choose not to, that's fine, but it doesn't make the people who do spend those 5 minutes maintaining their appearance liars. If you're too busy to spend 5 minutes in the morning on make up and 30 minutes in the evening going for a jog or hopping on a treadmill, what are you doing with your time that's so important? [/quote]
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