Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

I always have trouble with people saying they work 60-70 hours/wk with multiple small children, then implying that they are home every night and have weekends off. When, exactly, are you working and taking care of kids? At some point, you are just lying. 60+ hours/wk with evenings and weekends off and still cooking from scratch and taking care of kids is what? Getting up at 3:30am, leaving at 4:00am, getting to work at 4:30 am, working until, what, 5pm? Then coming home at 6pm, cooking dinner, feeding kids, bath, story, bed at 8pm, then clean up, bottle prep for daycare, working out, and to bed at what, 10pm at the earliest.

Come on, either you don't actually work 60+ hours/wk, you are lying about having hours to yourself on the weekends and evenings to do whatever you want, you only need to sleep four hours a night, or you have some very significant help with housework and childcare outside of your working hours, either from a spouse or housekeeper/nanny. If that's what it is, just say so. "I am able to do this because my husband is a SAHD and takes care of everything at home," or "I have an amazing nanny who is able to take care of three kids and get most of the housework done so I don't have to worry about it," or "I am one of those people who only needs to sleep 5 hours/night, so I have time to work out and get facials."

Don't say "oh, it doesn't take that much time, anyone can do it."

She's right though. It doesn't have to take that much time. And you're projecting, throwing in the cooking bits. She's talking about 5-10 minutes in the morning and 1.5 hours on weekends. That's not a lot of time. If you can't afford 5 minutes in the morning, you're doing something wrong. If you choose not to, that's fine, but it doesn't make the people who do spend those 5 minutes maintaining their appearance liars.

If you're too busy to spend 5 minutes in the morning on make up and 30 minutes in the evening going for a jog or hopping on a treadmill, what are you doing with your time that's so important?

I didn't say I was too busy. I said that the pp was lying about either her work hours, her children, or both.

Shave armpits, legs, bush
Shower three times a week
Paint nails
Minimal make up
Keep junk food to a minimum and exercise regularly

I don't fake tan, get my eyebrows done, get waxed or anything like that. Too much effort

Two kids 4 and 6. Exercise 3-5 days a week. Good haircut about every 3 months, hair is long and no grays yet at 42. Pedicure every month during warmer months. Brows/lip ever month or so. Five minutes of makeup. Sunscreen if no makeup. That's about it.

I guess I threw in the cooking stuff. And I am able to work out and go to the salon if I choose at this point in my life, But my youngest is three years old now, and I only work 40 hours/ wk. when I was working 60-70 hours/wk and my kids were small, I was not home every day working out after kids were in bed and taking weekends off. There is no way to put in those kinds of hours unless you rarely see your family during the week, or you work through the night sometimes and on weekends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I didn't mean that there's absolutely no time for this stuff if it's a priority--I meant that there's not a lot of time AND not something I care much to make time for. Re: time, spouse has an irregular schedule and works evenings, overnights, and weekends, making any regularly scheduled "maintenance" appointments tough. I could certainly do some of it during lunch hour, as a PP mentioned, but it's just not a high priority for me. Lunch is often taken up with work mtgs, email catch up, errands, etc., and if I have it free I like to go to the gym. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

I always have trouble with people saying they work 60-70 hours/wk with multiple small children, then implying that they are home every night and have weekends off. When, exactly, are you working and taking care of kids? At some point, you are just lying. 60+ hours/wk with evenings and weekends off and still cooking from scratch and taking care of kids is what? Getting up at 3:30am, leaving at 4:00am, getting to work at 4:30 am, working until, what, 5pm? Then coming home at 6pm, cooking dinner, feeding kids, bath, story, bed at 8pm, then clean up, bottle prep for daycare, working out, and to bed at what, 10pm at the earliest.

Come on, either you don't actually work 60+ hours/wk, you are lying about having hours to yourself on the weekends and evenings to do whatever you want, you only need to sleep four hours a night, or you have some very significant help with housework and childcare outside of your working hours, either from a spouse or housekeeper/nanny. If that's what it is, just say so. "I am able to do this because my husband is a SAHD and takes care of everything at home," or "I have an amazing nanny who is able to take care of three kids and get most of the housework done so I don't have to worry about it," or "I am one of those people who only needs to sleep 5 hours/night, so I have time to work out and get facials."

Don't say "oh, it doesn't take that much time, anyone can do it."

She's right though. It doesn't have to take that much time. And you're projecting, throwing in the cooking bits. She's talking about 5-10 minutes in the morning and 1.5 hours on weekends. That's not a lot of time. If you can't afford 5 minutes in the morning, you're doing something wrong. If you choose not to, that's fine, but it doesn't make the people who do spend those 5 minutes maintaining their appearance liars.

If you're too busy to spend 5 minutes in the morning on make up and 30 minutes in the evening going for a jog or hopping on a treadmill, what are you doing with your time that's so important?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

I always have trouble with people saying they work 60-70 hours/wk with multiple small children, then implying that they are home every night and have weekends off. When, exactly, are you working and taking care of kids? At some point, you are just lying. 60+ hours/wk with evenings and weekends off and still cooking from scratch and taking care of kids is what? Getting up at 3:30am, leaving at 4:00am, getting to work at 4:30 am, working until, what, 5pm? Then coming home at 6pm, cooking dinner, feeding kids, bath, story, bed at 8pm, then clean up, bottle prep for daycare, working out, and to bed at what, 10pm at the earliest.

Come on, either you don't actually work 60+ hours/wk, you are lying about having hours to yourself on the weekends and evenings to do whatever you want, you only need to sleep four hours a night, or you have some very significant help with housework and childcare outside of your working hours, either from a spouse or housekeeper/nanny. If that's what it is, just say so. "I am able to do this because my husband is a SAHD and takes care of everything at home," or "I have an amazing nanny who is able to take care of three kids and get most of the housework done so I don't have to worry about it," or "I am one of those people who only needs to sleep 5 hours/night, so I have time to work out and get facials."

Don't say "oh, it doesn't take that much time, anyone can do it."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

I also work FT and have a PhD in an area that I'm passionate about. For me, self-care is a priority and I also find it great fun. Exercise, clothing, and a comprehensive skin-care routine makes me feel great and confident. Feeling great then supports my efforts as a mom and employee. How do I have time for this "upkeep"? I make time- even if I have to wake up very early or work late into the night. It's worth it to me.

+1.

I have a PhD (btw, it's okay to care about appearances and style--PhDs can like lipstick, too!), a job I like, a baby...

Here's what I do:

Exercise: family walks after dinner daily, jog 3x/week, yoga, swim and weights sometimes but not as much as I'd like.

Shower: daily, or sometimes more often if I'm working up a sweat. I usually take a long bath on Sundays.

Hair: cut every 6 weeks. I co-wash daily and use a little product--I have a pixie, so that's all I have to do. Some days I don't wash (usually Sundays) and just rock the crazy look.

Nails: trim / file / buff / polish weekly or every-other-week, depending on how the color and length are doing. I keep my nails short and the color neutral. Pedicure at a salon once a month-ish in the summer, at home in the winter.

Face: Clarisonic in the am with Neutrogena, a serum (usually philosophy) and a good sunscreen moisturizer. Make-up daily: always blush and mascara, usually primer, powder & highlighter, sometimes eyeliner & lips, rarely eyeshadow (but that's just now, my makeup changes often--I had an eyeshadow phase for a while, and a liner phase, etc.). Nightly wash with balm and deep moisturizer or treatment. Mask weekly (usually Sunday).

For the "how do you find time" question, I go to the salon at lunchtime on a weekday. I drop DS off at daycare as soon as it opens (a block from home) and jog for half an hour before going home and getting ready for work. I look rough for drop-off, but I'm the only one there! I'm still out the door by 8:30. I spend an hour or two relaxing in the tub, doing nails & stuff almost every Sunday--usually while DS has his afternoon nap.

I'm very low maintenance. Haircut 2-3 time a year, color (from box in my bathroom) every 2 months when the grey starts growing in. I do shave both underarms and legs every time I shower. No manis/pedis/tanning/waxing. I have just recently started wearing a little foundation and eye liner. I would have no idea what to do with lipstick and eye shadow.

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

I thought the same thing. I don't work FT anymore because it was just too crazy. But I remember the days of working 70 hour weeks with 40 hours of childcare and three kids under four at home. I had weeks that I hardly had time to call my mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

I also work FT and have a PhD in an area that I'm passionate about. For me, self-care is a priority and I also find it great fun. Exercise, clothing, and a comprehensive skin-care routine makes me feel great and confident. Feeling great then supports my efforts as a mom and employee. How do I have time for this "upkeep"? I make time- even if I have to wake up very early or work late into the night. It's worth it to me.

Hair - highlights every 6 weeks, blow out every so often, cut every 12+ weeks

Eyelashes (not eyebrows) - re-application every 2-3 weeks

Mani pedi - twice a month (in warm weather, not in winter)

Workout - minimum of 4 times a week, max of 6.

Exfoliate - with clairsonic a few times a week.

I don't do manicures and pedicures but I don't understand how the rest of it takes up so much time--aside from exercising every day. Hair color and cut every 3 months. Hair--blow dry and that's it. Keep the color close to your natural color so it doesn't look drastic when it's been a little while since your appointment. Makeup - 5 to 10 minutes. Wardrobe investing? Online shopping when it's convenient. It's really not that hard.

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.