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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
NP here. I have the same problem with MIL. Part of my issue is the lack of respect she has for our parenting. [b]She is also teaching the kids it's ok to sneak things despite knowing the rules.[/b] I know kids will inherently sneak on their own at some point, but they don't need a free pass from grandma saying it's ok to  disrespect your parents rules. Plus, one of my kids is extra crazy on too much sugar. She claims - "I didn't realize she did that!" Every time! Really lady?!? I'm lucky my husband has stood up to her and now she backs off. [/quote]
I actually think the boldest is one of the most problematic aspects of what this Grandma is doing.  It's one thing to openly do something different than what parents do, but this kind of behavior teaches kids that their parents rules are NBD to follow and reinforces all the wrong lessons about junk food that decades of research say leads to poor eating habits (e.g. that candy is "better" than eggs etc).

There was a PP that suggested teaching young kids to bring treats to you before eating and then talk more frankly with older kids about nutrition.  I think this is a good idea, and pretty similar to what we do...though we don't have grandparents that are so undermining to deal with either.  But DD goes to a lot of parties etc, and we have a ton of candy around the house for whatever reason it seems.  She knows exactly where it is and where to find it.  And she loves to eat candy.  But she knows that she needs to ask our permission before eating anything, candy or cheerios or broccoli.  She gets some candy everyday after dinner if she wants it as long as she tries everything on her plate (doesn't have to clean it). She knows that she pretty much always gets ice cream when we go to a restaurant, but even her parents don't eat it at home.  She is usually pretty happy after just a piece of candy and doesn't really ask for excessive amounts.  She's only 3, so this all may change...but right now it's working to have her be the stop valve on candy/treats intake instead of expecting the world not to give them to her.[/quote]

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