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[quote=Anonymous]Hi,

I’m a former teacher and work in the local public school district. I love working with anxiety and aspie kids and their parents! You two are blessed to have each other. You don’t say where you live, but most districts have a special education department that works with students who struggle with problems as common as your child’s. (Don’t be scared of the term “special ed.” It doesn’t mean DS has a permanent “disability,” just some mental traits that are unhelpful to his/her success, and the district can offer advice with or without an official diagnosis.)

You said that your main trouble is maintaining your own mental/physical/relational health thru all this. I completely understand. Being a caregiver is no easy task, and I have great respect for you sticking with this. The local district office has social workers who might be able to connect you to parent support groups. Also look online. I definitely encourage you to reach out to support groups and local community resources for parents of children with mental health/autism challenges. DS might be a mild case compared to some of the other kids, or maybe not. You’ll belong no matter what, and many of their strategies are very helpful to all parents, even those with NT (neurotypical) kids. The understanding, great ideas, and relationship is often VERY rewarding, and no one should EVER make you justify being there, with or without an official diagnosis.

Don’t lose heart! As one previous poster said, try to remember that your ultimate goal is a loving relationship with your child and making him/her a self-sufficient and fully functional adult, not to have an academic whiz or even a child free of anxiety. And you do note that things have improved, which is a big victory! You’ve clearly been doing a lot of things right, so kudos to you, Dad! And remember, LOTS of adults struggle with the same issues as DS, so if DS can master them now, he’ll be leaps and bounds ahead of many of his peers – a mentor, even! And you might, too J. That might inspire DS to think about. Maybe he and you can bond over this issue -- maybe make a pact to not let each others' anxieties, moods, etc. be any lack of permission for the other to be happy and worry free. That would be codependent, and you two are both independent men together! And one last thing that you might consider couples counseling. You and your wife can actually use this to team together and be each other’s friend and heart-lover. If I can be of further help, please let me know. I’d love to help you if I can.   - RLC[/quote]

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