Reply to stepmother refuses to see anyone while undergoing chemo

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this is PP here with MIL who has ALS.  I am not going to sugar coat it, it can be heart breaking, stressful, anxiety ridden and very depressing to watch a loved one get sick (and in my case terminal) and have that person reject your offers of support and care.  My MIL lashed out at us repeatedly, also sending emails about grievances or perceived slights over the years, over the most random things and sometimes over made up thing.  At first we were so shocked and upset, but she's dying, so what's the point of arguing with her.  All she seemed to want was validation, as a person and that her feelings mattered.  We simply now reply to her "I am so sorry, I would never mean for my words or actions to harm you or make you upset.  We love you." Done, end of story.  There is no use in a back and forth.  And no it's not fair.  But life ain't fair.

It sounds like you will have to take things one day at a time, week by week, etc.  I wouldn't recommend saying anything to your children right now as there doesn't seem much to tell them.  She hasn't had her surgery yet. You don't know what her prognosis will be after that.  If she isn't local there isn't any use in stressing out your children at this stage.

I would be concerned about your father.  Does he have someone local, that can check on him for you?  Is he part of a church or other community that can organize a meal train FOR HIM (so it's one less thing he has to worry about, which is feeding himself). Does your stepmother have her own family (siblings, children)?  If so, have you touched base with them?[/quote]

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