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[quote=Anonymous]OP, glad to know that you and SS (stepson) do have a good relationship.

Hope it's ok to hijack your thread a bit.

I am the below poster and wanted to discuss my decision to fund DD's life, including her social life.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My 16 yr old DD pays for nothing.  Her 'job' is school.  She excels at that.  She also plays 2 sports.

She has a debit card that I keep loaded for her.  Shopping with friends is really the only expense we discuss and agree upon prior to it's occurrence.

She is surrounded by kids with much wealthier families and bigger homes.  DH and I decided to give her spending money
to remove some of the 'we are poor' thoughts she might have.  We are not poor BTW.   [/quote]

You are seriously doing your DD a disservice.  She will be 18 in two years.  How will she have any idea how to manage money?  Plus, she should know by now that not being as rich as everyone else does not equal poverty.  You should not be giving her extra money to keep up with the Joneses.  [/quote]

I disagree.  In 2 years, DD will be in college and we will likely fund her there as well.

Managing money is not hard and she is a smart kid.  She has a strong sense of what things cost and does not take advantage of our arrangement.  She appreciates it.

She does get it now (after almost 2 years of keeping her debit card loaded) that although we chose to not be house-poor, that does not mean we are poor.  In fact she often complains about how her friends have to borrow money off of her!

I continue to fund her though as it's a lot easier on me to electronically transfer funds, than to continually give her $20s.  If I did not give her money, she would not be able to socialize as freely as she does.

She holds up her end with an over 4.0 average taking all honors or AP classes.

I am not trying to harm her -- really just trying to make her life easier.   She has had some significant & chronic medical issues and has dealt with them well, considering.  Teens have so many worries.  Don't really seem the harm in removing worrying about enough $ for dinner or a movie, or the like.

Am I completely wrong about this?  Any ideas how to modify what I am doing without cutting her off.  She is getting use of a car this week and I just know that is gonna be expensive!

We have never really done an allowance.

Advice?

Be nice please.

[/quote]

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