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[quote=Anonymous]What does "spoke harshly to them" mean?

I could be completely wrong because I don't know you and this the internet, but your posts make me think you fit this description (I've known people like this):

Martyr mom in a household where there was significant yelling, but martyr mom doesn't really think of it as "yelling" per se and kind of glosses over it in retrospect.  Meanwhile, the entire narrative she held as her kids were growing up was that she was sacrificing everything for them.  Martyr mom repeats that narrative along with the yelling to simultaneously make her kids feel somewhat dependent on her and also resent her.

Martyr mom carries this into her children's adulthood by offering to do things, but using those things as a way of continuing the "I sacrifice for my kids; my kids owe me" narrative.

So now grown kids failed to launch, feel dependent on their mother, but also resent her.

It's a horrible dynamic and leads to a cycle of crummy behavior on both the mother's part and the adult children's part.  It's sort of a dysfunctional codependency.[/quote]

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