Reply to Any super high-achieving parents devastated by their SN child?

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Reply to "Any super high-achieving parents devastated by their SN child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, here.  I knew that someone like 7:33 would be offended/annoyed by my message, and I hesitated in posting it.  I was just looking for anyone in a similar circumstance to share their insights. I never really implied I have it harder than anyone else, just trying to be honest about my feelings and sharing.  Sorry if you thought I was implying anything else.  My husband who comes from a completely different background and does not care about academics, etc, came to terms with things much easier than I have - but he has a very laid-back personality and is in a career where he works alone and doesn't have a lot of people talking about their kids, etc.  I know I'm lucky in many ways and have a lot to be thankful for, it's just that every once in a while, I long for what I can't have.  Thank you to all the others and even 7:33 to remind me to focus on what I do have.

NP here. We are also super-high achieving parents but I can understand what 7:33 is trying to say to you. It isn't that she or I don't think your pain and disappointment is real. It's just a matter of perspective. Our younger DC is low-functioning ASD and has severe ADHD as well. It's a struggle and he will never be like us or like his older sister who is a middle-school star. He's the light of our lives, no lie, as he is. We DO recognize that our privileges give us enormous latitude and resources to help DS achieve his potential. I don't know if you have other children who are neuro-typical but as another PP said, even they may not be what you pictured. It's obviously not such a requirement for you for your spouse, so why for your kids? You absolutely should mourn and go through your feelings but do remember that you are on the fortunate end.

As an anecdote, we just went through the Katie Beckett process and it was grueling but we could pay a navigator plus I have a personal assistant who shepherded the process with me too. That is an incredible leg up compared to families in hourly wage jobs, housing insecurity or other challenges who have to go through the process. They may feel resentful like you or not so like us, I don't know and don't care to speculate more. Until now, we've been able to pay for care, therapies that aren't covered by insurance and a myriad of other things.

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