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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "Any super high-achieving parents devastated by their SN child?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I might get flamed for this, but the only thing that made me less resentful and more able to enjoy my life as a parent is having another kid, who turned out to be healthy and normal. I LOVE both my children, and somehow because there are now two of them, and they are so different, and one of them is blessedly predictable and meets milestones like clockwork, it makes me feel less resentful towards the one with special needs. I can enjoy his quirks and peculiar way of seeing the world, I can laugh with him. I love to see how they have bonded together, how the little one keeps an eye out for him (sometimes). I don't know if that's possible for you, OP, and if that's risky in terms of genetics. But as long as we're sharing, that's my story.[/quote] Since we're being honest here, I find my SN child more interesting. When it's just the two of us and we in our own normal, it's lovely. He sees the world differently and shares his insights. He's a cool kid. NT DC is great and all, but the magic I find in my special one is something I never would have anticipated. Once I embraced the difference and met DC on the terms required, I opened myself up to a very different kind of relationship. Just something to consider. [/quote] +1 I sympathize to a certain extent, OP. But there's nothing inherently harder about being super high achieving and being an SN parent. In fact, it makes it easier to look for the best experts, to understand the literature, to find and understand data, to hire advocates and lawyers so that your child gets the best education (or afford private school), to understand and join clinical trials, to be active in medical conferences and look out for new technologies. I don't think you mean to sound elitist, but [b]I think that there's some privilege talking here.[/b] I mean that in a kind way, but I think you have to consider that there are people of extremely limited education and means struggling with severely disabled children and the notion that being super high achieving is a special burden is kind of, well, a bit squirrelly to my ears. It reminds me of when I was a teenager and my aunt and uncle called to express their outrage that my cousin had not been accepted to an Ivy League school (instead a school like Amhert). Surely, said Aunt and Uncle, they could understand and empathize with their "special level of outrage" since all were Ivy-educated, and cousin was entitled to a spot. Privileged people and high-achieving people are not entitled to a constant level of happiness, anymore than any other segment of the population. Perhaps even less so. I just have a hard time with your post on a philosophical level. Although I have tremendous personal empathy for you, and am not condemning you in any way.[/quote] Really? Can't there be any discussion without some SJW grumbling about another's privilege? OP just made an incredibly difficult admission that I'm sure causes her immense pain, and your sole contribution, despite your hollow disclaimers, is to call her spoiled. Go away. [/quote]
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