Reply to My kids are not in the popular crowd

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've never heard kids describe others as, "the popular kids"

Make sure, if they said this once, you didn't latch on to it and make it a big deal

[/quote]

Perhaps you don't spend a lot of time with kids. I work with ES age kids and they talk about the popular kids (4th & 5th grade) but not necessarily in an admiring way. It's almost as if the word popular has lost its meaning -- well-liked -- [b]and is a stand-in for hyper-cliquey and social.[/b]

OP, help your kids learn to be social. This is a skill that some come to naturally, and at a very early age. Others take a long time and need to learn it. You see adults posting on DCUM talking about feeling left out, not being able to make friends etc.

Teach your kids -- a PP had a good idea re: encouraging your child to initiate social events with your his/her friends. Be willing to host. Be willing to drive. Make it known that your fine with a bunch of kids eating and hanging out at your house. Then let your child invite his/her nice friends over.[/quote]

I've heard it this way from my DD.  Last year, in 5th grade, she gave me a breakdown of how she saw the school cafeteria and its different groups.  Among a variety of groups she noted one group as "popular-sassy" and another as "popular-sporty", both big social groups but the 'sassy' group is into fashion/music - more your stereotypical 'popular' girl crowd and girls DS says they can be mean, although nicer 1-on-1.  The 'popular-sporty' group is similarly very social but mostly all play on sports teams with each other.  DD didn't aspire to be in either group and said she and her friends aren't a group (they are kind of a quirky mix IMO) but that one of her BFFs could be in the popular-sporty group but chooses to sit with DD and friends.  It was an interesting in-depth analysis of the social dynamics of the lunch room from my 10 yr old![/quote]

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