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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Instead of cajoling him to get better grades - how about you say, "Larlo, you need to achieve a GPA of 3.5 (or whatever is attainable at this point) to remain at your school.  If you do not, you will be going to the local public in the fall"  Then leave it alone unless he asks you for help.  Do not budge.  Do not change your mind.

And when he baits you with his bullshit comments -- just ignore him and leave the room.  There is no reason to give anything he says (in that vein) one iota of attention.[/quote]

Discussing grades or dictating a certain gpa is a sure way to make the kid fail out.
They're growing up - they have to have the idea that what they are achieving is because of their efforts, not mommy and daddy's.
Leave the kid be to figure it out. 
Your job is to set limits with his behavior but not his grades and what he studies - stay out of that or you are going to cripple the kid.[/quote]

You cannot be serious.  Unless the kid is going to private school for a special need, that is a privilege that you earn.  The idea that a child is expected to perform to the best of their ability will make them fail out is ludicrous.[/quote]

No, I'm serious. We say absolutely nothing about grades or DC's classes. If she wants to discuss it then yes. We send DC to the private school not do DC can be a 'super student' but so DC can learn values and things like  empathy for others. We like the extra activities there for DC - theatre, volunteer projects, sports, arts, etc.

DC has some pretty great  teachers there and is pretty inspired to learn. No pushing is needed.
If / when DC gets an 'off' grade we don't make a big deal of it.

DC is well on the way to independence and directing  his/her own life. Isn't that the point?

If my kid was flunking out I'd reevaluate but really people send kids to private school for more nurturing I think. You won't get that at the public school.

Did you read about the guy that founded under armor? Plenty of stuff about his turbulent teenaged years. 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/under-armour-founder-gives-16-million-to-st-johns-college-high/2015/11/06/7adc7724-84bf-11e5-9afb-0c971f713d0c_story.html[/quote]

I can understand your approach with your kid - but OP has described her kid as lazy with mediocre grades.  Continuing on this path, he won't be independent and will be sponging off mom and dad forever.  I don't think her insistence on some level of achievable performance is going to cause him to fail out or ruin his precious self-esteem.  Frankly, the kid sounds like he's being an asshole.[/quote]

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