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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If my household made seven figures and my parents could not look after my disabled sibling properly, I would support him fully and not have him rely on food stamps or anything else. I would treat him like one of my own, and would set up long term care and also a retirement account for him, because one day he will be a senior citizen and you might not be around to look out for him.

I wouldn't be married to a man who would deny my disabled sibling while he's making over a million a year and banking 80% of that. An Aston Martin or his disabled brother in law being well cared for? I just don't understand how people lose their compassion and humanity. Would he treat his own sibling like this?

That being said, if your brother is so disabled that he has never even worked once in his life, how on earth is he able to maintain and operate a car? Where does he drive to and what does he need a $20k car for? If he can drive a car, he can get a part time job, even if it means just socializing, getting out of the house, and having some independence. [/quote]

Completely disagree.  Your brother is your brother.  You have your own family & children to worry about.  I think it is reasonable to support your brother for basic needs.  Anything beyond that should be agreed by both spouses.  Your DH is looking out for the family.  Your primary responsibility is your family and not your brother & parents.  They are also family but come after your kids & DH.  If your parents love/loved you they will/would also agree with that line of thinking.[/quote]

PP here. I don't disagree with your point, but I think that I'm looking at this from a different POV because my son is disabled and low functioning, and I couldn't fathom my older kids leaving him to fend for himself and allowing him to be on food stamps with million dollar incomes. If I had a brother like my son, there isn't a chance in hell I wouldn't provide for him in the event that my parents could not, and our HHI is a fraction of OP's.

But that's the issue with OP and her husband, and why her husband is probably in the right here--her brother can live on his own, do his own shopping and drive around a $20k car, but he can't even work part time? Would love to know what disability he has. [/quote]

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