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[quote=Anonymous]In this case, OP, you're in trouble.

The first red flag is that you won't tell your wife. You are enjoying this fantasy of what could happen and how hot you are for this woman, while you're hiding from your wife the fact that you're going on lunch dates with a woman you find very attractive.

If you were thinking straight, and truly wanted to protect your marriage and family, your wife, and yourself, you'd tell her. So why don't you? Because once your wife knows, it's going to be hard to hide from yourself and from her. Deep down, you're loving the idea that something "could just happen." This is hard to let go of, but it's playing with fire.

I'm sorry if this offends you, but you're also a bit of a walking cliche. As a man in your mid-forties, you are extraordinarily vulnerable to this mid-life fantasy, and as I look around at the men I know who've gone through this age, it's a rare one who didn't have your feelings and struggle through some version of your situation. Many take it too far and end up hurting their wives and families, and even destroying them.

Mid-life is a weird time, when you start to feel a little desperate. You're looking at your mortality, your disappointments in yourself and life and others, your fears that the best stuff is over and you're maybe never going to have some experiences. Many guys look around and see they're losing their youth and it's all downhill, and they're never going to have that excitement of a new woman, and so instead of looking inward and figuring out how to handle it, they fall into fantasy and looking for someone, anyone, to make them feel better--young, excited, exciting, etc.

You're asking for permission here to continue going down a path you know is foolish. [/quote]

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