Reply to What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That when he whines and plays the victim for some really really absurd reason I wouldn't tolerate even for a child, I want to yell at him "MAN UP For Christ sake you are a unappealing pussy".

But I don't, because I love him, don't yell or say nasty words as a principle, and I know his ego cannot handle the idea that he acts "like a pussy"... But damn does it feel tempting...[/quote]

Are you living with my husband? Is it possible he has two houses and two families?  [/quote]

DH here. This a great thread (really).  I am inspired to lose some weight and be a bit more forceful (manly?) with my wife, for her own benefit.  I haven't exactly been a push over, and I don't whine, but its clear that -- for physical attraction, at least -- women are looking more for Christian Grey than for Steve Martin.  [/quote]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I told them I was done with them, told them they'd better have long-term care insurance and explicit funeral instructions for their executor, and that they should leave everything to my brother.

I let my uncle, with whom I remain close, know what was happening and why.  We have an understanding that he'll let me know if my father is at death's door and that he won't judge me if I conclude I can't be there.  Knowing what my parents have done, he gets it. I'm lucky to have a relative who understands.

If you do disengage from parents I recommend you do your best not to let it destroy all of your familial relationships. It takes extra effort to stay in touch with cousins, aunts, and uncles when you're not just showing up at thanksgiving but it can be done and it's worth it. [/quote]

Whoa.
What did he/they do? I'm sure you did not take such action lightly, so it must have been something really awful.[/quote]

How much time have you got?

Suffice it to say I managed to maintain a relationship in spite of their lifelong emotional abuse because I wanted my child to have grandparents and because after growing up in such a terrible household I actually didn't understand just how far from acceptable their behavior had been.

After years of therapy I had a perspective on that, and most people were encouraging me to cut them out entirely before they struck again.

Unfortunately they were even more damaging as grandparents, which is hard to believe. [/quote]

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