Reply to Is the redhead kid who calls me dad actually mine?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is the redhead kid who calls me dad actually mine?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Eh, my DH was duped (years before we met) by his former fiance into thinking a child was his when it actually wasn't. He got a paternity test and left. Granted the child was months old but even if it wasn't, I don't think it's fair to expect saintly acts from mere mortals. I commend women and men who are able to raise other people's children but I do think it should be a choice. When that choice is taken from you in the form of betrayal, there are casualties and unfortunately the biggest casualty is the child but don't demonize the first victim for wanting to know and possibly choosing a chance at an honest relationship without baggage or little reminders of hurt.[/quote]

Well said.[/quote]

He had a choice, when the wife got pregnant and the kid was born and he already suspected infidelity.  He made a choice--to be a father to the kid.  There's nothing "saintly" about continuing to love a child you've loved for years.  There's something horrific about throwing that away.

And if his love for his son changes one iota because the kid does or does not carry his DNA, there will be baggage and hurt.  It just won't be his to bear.  [/quote]

Pp who posted the scenario with my own DH. So let me get this straight, your wife cheats on you, gets pregnant, and dupes you into thinking you're the father of her lover's child and when it comes to light it's your fault if your feelings change "one iota" toward this child that has to be a constant reminder of betrayal? I swear DCUM is like fucking twilight zone sometimes. So should he stay with his wife if in fact he proves her infidelity? That's bullshit, I don't believe in people sacrificing happiness and staying together for their own bio kids, let alone someone else's. So if they do split, does he work doubly hard to co-parent a child that isn't his from a distance? He would have no legal rights and the child could potentially be used as an emotional/financial pawn.

And another thing, if in fact, this kid isn't the OPs, doesn't the bio father have a right to know, love, and raise his own child? No he isn't a saint for sleeping with a married woman but OP's wife also took his choice away too by passing this child off as her husband's and that's not cool either.[/quote]

You are a man. I can tell because there is *nothing* in your post about his responsibilities to a child--not the mother--but, the to child who has developed a strong emotional attachment to him as a father. He doesn't owe the mother anything, but he is now a huge part of this child's life and he has a moral obligation to this child, even if he doesn't have one to the child's mother. In the end, it is this child who will suffer if the OP walks away. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics