Reply to "Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him

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Reply to ""Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]This is good, and interesting worthwhile advice for someone. But not the OP. Why? Because you made this decision BEFORE you had children. Before you married him. OP wants to disrupt their lives for no reason whatsoever, to chase some fantasy because she's read too many books in which the lead characters have hot sex and crazy chemistry. Or watched too much TV. And she's too immature to discuss it with her husband. Don't want to kiss during sex? Tell him. Want to try something different? Show him. He's too gentle? I'm guessing that's a trait that also makes him a good and caring father, husband, and physician.

Seriously, you can't just do that to your kids because you're not getting off enough. And PP, I understand your concern about the dynamics at play in your relationship--but she never mentioned anything like that, either.[/quote]

True, which is why I advise for her to talk through this with him in therapy. But I posted my story to demonstrate the strong pull women feel to partner with men society deems as providers (see the "how can I marry a provider" thread). There's nothing wrong with wanting a provider.  But it's very dysfunctional that people will prioritize the importance of that at all costs. Note the litany of responses ridiculing OP and calling her husband a "catch".

The idea that a woman's happiness is less important, or worse, unimportant, is a sexist issue that remains deeply ingrained in our society. Note: I am NOT suggesting that OP take destructive action within her family to prioritize her own happiness above her family's. I am saying that her happiness is important, and deserves her and her husband's attention.[/quote]

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