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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This situation reminds me a little of my own childhood at a private school, where we were poor and I was sensitive and socially challenged.  Kids made fun of me for my clothes and my awkward behavior.  Books became my refuge.

You can see where this is going.

Two kids on the basketball team picked on me all the time for not being a good player and being the geeky weird kid.  They teased and excluded me mercilessly.  But I was smart, and when I was in high school I got into two exclusive summer programs and my name and picture in the paper and an announcement at morning assembly, and they stopped teasing me and asked me questions about how I had gotten in and (!!!) could I help them?  Then I got into an Ivy and they went to state schools, and I won't lie, the schadenfreude of my tormenters was delicious.

Oh you mean mommies and mean girls, you think you are cool now to exclude the kids who are different!  Enjoy it while it lasts, because one day our kids will be rejecting your kid's job application or meting out karma in other ways.  While you teach your kids about exclusion and pecking order, we're teaching ours about emotional resilience and survival.  Hope your time at the top is worth the karma points you're ditching.  (Actually I totally don't.)[/quote]

My God, you need some therapy or help or something. I was mercilessly bullied as well, including sexual assault, so I know from bullying. But I cannot imagine reveling in schadenfreude this many years later, nor going out of my way to wish ill will on children so I can relive that schadenfreude through my own children one more time. Good Lord.

OP, I would think about emailing the mom and say something like, "Hi, I am sorry this is a bit awkward, but my son Larlo has told me that Larla has invited him several times to her birthday party. I understand parties are often limited, and completely understand if he's outside of your party limits, but he is so positive he was invited that I thought I'd check. Please don't worry if that's not the case." I am not sure I'd do that or not myself, but if I did do it, I would go out of my way to give the other mom an out.

I would start with the assumption there is no bad intent, too. I don't ever invite "most" of a class to birthday parties (it's either small or the whole class or all the girls, just too much possibility of hurt feelings otherwise), but I could see innocuous reasons (have to invite all of the girl scout troup, kids who are on same block, etc.). It just seems like jumping to conclusions to automatically assume exclusion or negative intent was behind it, absent other facts.

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