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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "single mother difficulty meeting single men"
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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the single mom again who originally mentioned it gets easier as your kid gets older. I hardly ever meet single dads. I didn't meet them pre-kid either. At this point, I can recall dating two single dads and it was nice for a change. One was my age and had also started young for this area (early 20s for him, mid 20s for me) and recently divorced. He definitely "got it" and we would supplement by talking on the phone like teenagers all night. Ex military. So was the other single dad. OP, I don't know how old you are, but one challenge I had was being in my 20s and a mom amongst a bunch of childless peers and men. People suggest going older and I think that's usually wise. However, it hasn't worked well for me. I have surprisingly found younger guys to be more open to a relationship. Guys with military backgrounds especially seem to be totally familiar with dating moms. Most guys I've dated have been engineer/IT contractors, single/no kids, 28-35. I'm 31 now, but have been dating for a few years now. The guys I've dated over 35 have surprisingly been the oddest of all to deal with. I would meet guys who say they really wanted to settle down and have kids but their actions said otherwise. These were always the guys who didn't understand why I couldn't be spontaneous and go away for a weekend or to dinner that night. Or they couldn't remember basic stuff about my kid (age/gender/name). Meanwhile, I'd meet a guy slightly younger than me who was more than accommodating. One guy flat out told me that he understood that his schedule was more flexible than mine so to call him anytime I was free and he'd make it happen. Another younger guy I met (long distance) offered to pay for my daughter to fly down to see him when my relative could no longer sit one weekend saying that it would be nice to finally meet her. (FYI, nobody has met my little one yet.) I bring up these anecdotes to stress to you to be very openminded. I initially was not. In fact, I sabotaged both budding relationships because of their ages. Speaking of being openminded, look around and make sure there isn't a good guy in your life already that you aren't paying attention to. My GF (was a single mom) married a guy who she attended undergrad with and began working near her office. He'd had a crush on her all along, but could tell she wasn't open yet (during that time she married and divorced). She didn't even recognize him yet they'd taken classes together. Another single mom I know is in a relationship now with a guy she dated years ago briefly but wasn't ready for at the time. I just realized recently that I'm interested in a guy that I friend-zoned YEARS ago, pre-kid. There was mutual interest but we were rarely single at the same time. We ended up kissing one night due to liquid courage and then acting like it never happened (pretty sure he followed my lead). I think I convinced myself that I wasn't attracted to him years ago to justify keeping in touch while in a relationship. Maybe there are good guys around you that you just haven't been paying attention to? [/quote]
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