Reply to Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?

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Reply to "Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It used to be that SAHM (for white educated women) was the societal norm and you needed an excuse to woh.  Now it seems that the societal norm is woh and you need and excuse to sah.

We haven't really come very far if we merely erected a different set of required behaviors.

There are pluses and minuses to every situation and each family needs to figure out what best serves that family.

When I see the "but 50% of marriages end in divorce" argument, I don't think they have thought it through.  The divorce rates are different based on the couple's situation.  (age of couple when they married, are there children?, did their parents divorce, education of parents, careers, personalities, religious affiliation (or not), length of marriage, NT vs SN children......)

I see several trends among my friends.  If their parents divorced, they are more likely to stay working, especially if their mother was left in the lurch.  If they have three or more children, they are more likely to sah or work very reduced hours (5-15).  If they are having problems in their marriage they are more likely to stay working.  If the spouse that has the higher paying job and has a very inflexible job, travels and/or requires significant overtime, they are more likely to sah/work very PT.  If they have supportive family nearby, they are more likely to woh.  If they have SN child or children, they are more likely to work PT.  If they are in job that requires yearly training to keep licenses or would be difficult to re-enter, they wohft or pt.  For example, I know many physicians that work part time or job share (which I think is a community asset if we ever have a real epidemic).

I think we each have to address the pluses and minuses of our individual situations head on and figure out what works best for the family among the available options.  For my family, that meant that we both woh for a while and then had a woh/sah situation and now we may go back to the dual woh.  [/quote]

OP here. Don't remember ever reading this response. I witness a lot of divorces and although our marriage is solid, there are no guarantees. DH's parents are divorced and mine are unhappily married.[/quote]

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