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[quote=Anonymous]I have been on both sides of this situation and think it would be nice if all parties tried to understand each other.  The OP seems a bit clueless about how deep infertility pain runs, and it is unclear why her brother's reaction was insufficient (she didn't note what he actually said when she told him).  IMO, OP should show some compassion for the pain of infertility and not really expect formal cards/calls.  On the other hand, OP's brother should acknowledge the pregnancy, say congrats, send gifts or something to showers, and not act like people should tiptoe around OP's pregnancy.

Honestly, I am not sure why everyone is focusing on the SIL instead of the brother.  Maybe it's just my family dynamic, but I don't think I expected my SIL to do anything when I got pregnant.  We aren't close and don't really talk that much - just really see each other a couple of times a year.  My husband's brother expressed excitement/congrats when my husband told him about the baby, but I don't even remember if I heard anything from my SIL, and that didn't bother me at all.  I kind of consider them to be a unit and if one of them says congrats, I don't really feel the need to hear it from the other.  I invited my SIL to my shower and she came and was nice, and that was a nice thing to do but, honestly, I wouldn't be totally pissed if she didn't do anything re: my pregnancy.

Is there something missing to this story?  Do all parties involved live very close to each other, see/talk to each other often?  It would be really strange to constantly see someone/talk to someone and never hear anything at all (which, to me, need not consist of anything more than a simple "congratulations" and that's it).  But if they aren't close anyway (which seems to be the case), why is it the SIL's duty to really do anything, especially if the brother already acknowledged the situation?

I wonder how this is going now that OP probably has had the baby by now - hopefully they resolved everything and can interact without too much stress on any side![/quote]

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