Reply to Husbands: do you secretly wish your SAH wives bought in a paycheck?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not a SAHM now - but I was unemployed for awhile so I was one by default for awhile. Not being able to bring in money scared the crap out of me. My husband lost his job too.  I don't ever want one of us to be without a job again. As much as I understand the point about running the household, making life easier, everyone's happier etc...

what happens if you husband drops dead? or has an affair and decides to divorce you? What then? What if you become miserable and feel trapped because he makes all the money and you don't? Not working for years and years will ruin your chances at employment and then you'll be sitting at some doctors office as a receptionist making $10 per hour.

I wonder why this question is directed at the husbands - I think it should be directed at the wives. It just seems like too big of a gamble to stop working. I keep seeing post after post of all these women "stuck" in marriages because they rely on the man for money. Its really depressing to me. It sounds like most of them never thought it would happen to them..yet its a recurring theme over and over again.

I suppose if you've never experienced job loss, or had major financial issues, or thought never crossed your mind that your husband could one day leave you - then I guess you wouldn't think about it.

But seriously - once the kids are grown and in school for most of the day - what then? By then you've been out of work for how many years? I just think women get screwed in this scenario. Its all about "making the man happy and successful"...but what about you? What do you get?
Raising kids is a hard job, but you don't get paid for it, so how are you insuring your future if your husband bails on you or drops dead?

Better yet - what happens when the kids are grown and your husband gets resentful that all you do is spend money and have lunch and play tennis with friends all day. I mean, he set you up for that life, and now he wants to take it away...? I've seen that happen too.

Husband is bored with his wife of 10-15 years because she does nothing interesting, and talks about nothing except for the latest gossip in the neighborhood. So - he trades her in for a newer, younger, prettier version. Meanwhile, first wife gets to move into some crappy little condo with her three children and get a job at Starbucks. Sounds like a great plan.[/quote]

MY GOD! You are so right to go back to work.  Kudos for anticipating your future...you are set!

Hey ,  a question for all the women in this forum ...

Do you think your husband will leave you, cheat on you, get bored?

AND - if your answer is "YES"...tell me why did you end up with him in the first place.[/quote]

Do the WOHM feel like if your husband left you, your life and your children's lives would not be uprooted and undertake a difficult change just because you have job?  It would be hard either way, for a SAHM and for a WOHM.  You may have your finances figured out right away, whereas the Sahm might take a little longer to get back on her feet.  There's that.  So she should fret her way throughout her entire marriage for the possibility of "just in case he leaves me".

My mom worked full time as did my dad.  When he died our entire lives changed, she went from one job to 2, we went from a house to an apartment and sibling and I to a new school.  Shit happens, life can suck, but you tough it out and you make a new life.  It's not any easier losing your husband or losing your dad because you work outside the home.

This argument of "what if he leaves you" is overused.

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