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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm tired of this notion that pregnant women are supposed to be worshiped and everyone has to fuss over them.

I'm all for offering a seat to a pregnant woman.

But I think pregnancy has become the new Bridezilla.

I was pregnant and had a miscarriage.  I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant, and I have a sister who is infertile (three agonizing rounds of IVF).  My plan was to be very low key about the pregnancy, because I love my sister. I understand her pain, and I didn't feel like she needed to do anything with regard to my pregnancy.  I lost the baby, and I still didn't tell her about it, because I didn't want her to relive all of her pain from the years of trying.

People have to remember that aside from the grandparents-to-be, no one is going to care as much about your pregnancy and baby as you and your husband.  Don't be entitled.  Don't expect the world to stop and gush over the fact that you got pregnant.  No one should wish you ill, but you also shouldn't expect to be the center of attention.

Enjoy your own pregnancy, enjoy your baby when it comes.  And thank your lucky stars that you were able to get pregnant and that you carried a healthy baby to term.  Because let me tell you something, you didn't do anything special to deserve it beyond any other woman on the planet.  So much of it is luck and circumstance.  Can't you just enjoy and appreciate that you have a healthy pregnancy?

It's all part of the narcissism of our culture.  Getting married, getting pregnant, these aren't "accomplishments."  They are stages of life that either happen or don't.  No one "earns" them.  A huge part of it is circumstance -- you were lucky to meet someone and fall in love.  You were lucky to get pregnant and have no complications.   You didn't earn these things.  Appreciate them.  But don't expect the world to stop, and more than anything, don't expect other people who, by circumstance, have not been given what you have to suddenly worship you.

As I wrote, I know the horrible heartbreak my sister has endured.  I knew before I was pregnant.  And then when I miscarried, I knew firsthand.

Now I have a relative who is pregnant and has made it a point to constantly update me on every aspect of her pregnancy and how wonderful it is to experience the baby moving, on and on.  She knows I lost my pregnancy.  But she seems to feel like I "owe" her this.

I have congratulated her.  And I don't tell her how much of a jerk she is being.  But her attitude and her actions have definitely made me less interested in being a part of her life.

Being pregnant isn't an excuse to be selfish, narcissistic and unkind.  In fact, I firmly believe that being pregnant is a call to invoke your deepest capacity for compassion and empathy for others because you will soon be a mother.  Having a baby and being a mother isn't about you getting something you want or you being the center of attention. It is a call to be a better person because you will now be responsible for another person and for teaching them compassion and empathy.

Maybe if all people regarded pregnancy in this way, we wouldn't have so many spoiled and entitled children who grow up to be spoiled and entitled and self-centered adults.

Flame away, people!  [/quote]

No flames here  - good points!![/quote]

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