Reply to What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Has anyone had an emotional affair and managed to work through it, hold onto a strong marriage, AND stay friends with their EA partner? [/quote]

it's possible, but ea partner will fade away eventually.[/quote]

Probably because it is a situation that causes both EA partners too much pain.  You want a relationship together but know it can never be because of your individual circumstances.  Reality has to take control at some point.  [/quote]

One year after our EA ended, we haven't seen each other but still communicate via occasional email. We are trying to be friends but when I make an effort to see him in person he rejects these advances (he always puts off the meeting rather than saying no). I think we're both having a hard time cutting the line of communication once and for all. But I feel like maybe we could pick up our friendship again, slowly but surely.  We both said we wanted to remain friends and recognized that it would take time, distance and work. But at the same time I keep wondering if it's always going to be too painful for us, and if we should just turn our backs to the idea of friendship. I don't know. We were such good friends. Nothing got too funky between us, but we did develop feelings of attraction and obviously something a little deeper, otherwise I can't account for the pain. I guess I'm in denial. I wish there was someone out there who would tell me they'd managed to stay friends with their EA partner. Or am I just holding on to false hope and not willing to face saying goodbye when really that's what I should be doing. As you say, I guess reality has to take control at some point. Just having a hard time with this as I've never had to cut off a friend..... [/quote]

Seriously sit down and ask yourself this.  Why is it so important to you to keep the friendship with this particular man?  An EA causes damage to your marriage.  You are putting energy into that relationship rather than focusing where it should be, with your spouse.

From reading your post, you sound like you want to keep the friendship because you still long for this man.  By keeping the friendship, you would keep that door of possibilities open.  Not fair for him.  Certainly not fair for your husband.

Do yourself and the two men in your life a huge favor, close that door and cut off contact with the other man so you can move on with your life.  It sounds like that is what the other man is trying to do, hence why he won't see you in person.[/quote]

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