Reply to Is it normal for sibling not to tell you they are having a baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”[/quote]

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better. [/quote]

This isn’t some co-worker or neighbor. It’s a sibling!!! There is nothing wrong with simply asking the question. And where do you get off assuming the sister “didn’t feel safe or supported?” That is mighty presumptuous on your part, PP. [/quote]

DP Why is it your business? It isn’t. It isn’t your business. If you need to know, you will be informed. [/quote]

One more time: it’s family. Family supports one another. If I found out one of my siblings, with whom I’m not estranged, did this, I would genuinely want to know what is going on and what led to not disclosing a pregnancy. It is NOT normal behavior.

No, it’s none of my business if it’s a co-worker or neighbor. But it is my business if it’s family. [/quote]

It’s family so [b]it hurts more[/b] if you are not told until after the baby is born. It means they don’t feel close enough to you to share it. 
[/quote]

This is a choice.

You can examine why you feel “hurt” by how another adult chooses to manage their medical information, you can work on the relationship to build the closeness that you feel was missing, or you can center yourself in someone else’s story which may have nothing to do with you.[/quote]

+1000. They weren't doing it to hurt you. They were doing it for their own reasons and you feel hurt that those reasons didn't prioritize you

I have been mad about medical secrets when those secrets affected me and my plans. But unless there were plans made (like a joint vacation or something) it's hard to see how keeping a pregnancy secret hurts anyone. [/quote]

You keep talking about this as a "medical choice" or "medical care."  It is not.  It is a new member of the "presumably close" family.  A new member of the family doesn't only affect or belong to the parents.[/quote]

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