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[quote=Anonymous]Lots of good advice here, but I’m not sure OP yet gets her dire financial situation. Chronic health issues and multiple job losses. And she says she stopped posting on social media because she didn’t want her family to see what she is spending money on. That tells me you are spending way too much. I’m generally okay with the grooming and gym expenses but do read Dave Ramsey and tackle your debt and your retirement savings like your life spends on it. You indeed should be living like a pauper until your debt is paid off, your retirement is in decent shape, you have  decently large savings (I think you should aim for at least 6-months of living expenses given your health issues and history of job losses) and until you can buy a house/condo.

I think spending money you don’t have on the SAT prep class is a bad idea. If your niece can’t self-study (Khan has live/zoom video small groups and I think one-on-one connect i points with a tutor), why do you think she’s ready to go off to a competitive college? She might be better off doing community college for a year to learn independent habits. Why don’t you tell her that you just found about this awesome program that Khan has and that you will help work with her on it. And if she does well, you will put that money towards her college deposit or similar.

I also think you should pay your mom back for a reasonably priced laptop. Tell her that you are appreciative of her help with that purchase when you needed it, but that you realize that your own financial situation is not strong and that you are going to be 100% focused on getting yourself out of debt so you won’t be able to help again.

And lastly, you admitted that your family has terrible money management skills so any $ you give them is literally just like lighting fire to it. Just picture that fire when you think about giving money to them. Stop the cycle now with your better financial habits and abilities.

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