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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am (47) recently divorced and finally checked out the apps for the first time. I am interested in women 37 and older. I was very surprised by the huge number of single women in this age bracket. Of course, it doesn't mean I am who they are looking for and it's probably more likely than I am not. But I went through a lot of well put together profiles and I am just surprised all these women are single.  Yes there are probably more women than men in this age group, but it's as if all of them are single.

If I were to lower my age range to 30, it's probably going to be a similar story. But 10 years age gap is the most I'll go for as I am looking beyond just hooking up.

So guys out there who are single and looking, you have choices.
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Speaking as a fellow divorced guy, you're missing the reason why these women are single: Higher standards. Women don't see being single the way they did back when you were last on the market.

20 years ago, a woman single in her 30s and 40s would settle for some guy she wasn't particularly attracted to and knew she was going to end up divorcing. The goal was just to get a marriage under the belt because "divorced" at 40 was better than never married at 40.

Nowadays, women are happy to stay single the rest of their lives rather than settle. This is triply true for women who are divorced. A lot of them hated being married and living with a man, and need a really, really, really good offer to consider going back to it.

So, while there are a lot of single women on the market, your chances are probably worse nowadays than they were 20 years ago. The lady who is going to want to get serious and actually stay with you isn't going to be as hot, smart, or emotionally stable as the one who would've wanted you 20 years ago. The woman you think is ideal will break up with you after three to six months today, if she even shows up to date #2.

I'm not going to give my take on whether women's standards today make sense or if the problem is men or whatever. Just laying out the scene.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for making excellent points. In fact I am talking to a woman who is 41 and I picked up many of the points that you made. At first I thought it's because I have been out of the market for 22 years, but then I realized the expectations are just not the same anymore. I don't have an opinion whether it's good or bad, but I am finding the journey interesting. This woman I'm taking to she is gorgeous. She has never been married, she has no kids, she owns her house and has a great career.  I think she is talking to me just out of interest because she told me straight out that she wants to experience what my first wife experienced (all the milestones etc) and she rightfully said she won't be able to experience that with a divorced man. [/quote]

Well jeez she’s 41. She’s going to miss all the milestones at this rate. This is why she’s single. She’s probably letting [b]perfectly good men [/b]who meet her non negotiable criteria go because they don’t meet her unrealistic standards.

What’s the marriage joke? A woman gets into a department store full of husbands on the first floor and sees a sign that says “more husbands upstairs.” So she goes to the second floor and says, these look okay but what’s on the next floor? So she takes the elevator up one more level and is surprised to find nothing there. [/quote]

The bolded is from your perspective. What is perfectly good for you may not be perfectly good for her. Marriage/long term romantic relationship is neither food nor water. It's a want. If I am looking for a dress, and I get up to the third floor, and there is nothing after I have rejected several other dresses on the lower floors, I can still go home happy that I did not spend my money on something that I did not love.

There is always another dress and another store. And if I don't find the dress and give the money to someone else, my choice, my loss, my gain. And I could decide to use the money to buy a pant suit instead.

Romantic relationships/ marriages are much more complex than dresses, but you get the point. If that picky lady chooses to save her time and energy for her " perfect" man, so what if it she never meets him? It's her life and there are many other fulfilling ways she can spend her energy and time.

[/quote]
DP. You absolutely nailed it. I'm so saving this post. It's better to go home and wear what I already have than buy some shabby dress I don't really want just to have one. That's also 100% how I feel about dating and marriage now. The first time around, I took terrible advice and married Mr. "Good Enough" (really "No Good At All"). Lesson learned. [/quote]

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