Reply to 69, zero assets, social security is not enough

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That’s a horrible attitude and you should treat her better than you are. She’s family.[/quote]

NP in a similar situation to OP. The thing is, with finite resources, it becomes a choice: the next generation or the previous one? Do I support my parent, or do I set my kids up as best as possible for what is almost certainly going to be a much harder, more expensive, less certain future? What if one of the kids has health issues and needs lifelong access to medication? Is it okay to not support mom then? Am I looking backward or forward?

I hate being in this situation. Hate it. 
[/quote]

It's arguably even more complicated when it's your inlaws, and your spouse is inclined to support them over your children.  I also hate being in this situation. I could see it ruining some marriages. [/quote]

Yes. Look, my parents were working class and fairly frugal with their money. I appreciated DH telling me “spare nothing” with them even though I don’t think he fully understood how expensive that would be. I was able to get both of them on Medicaid LTC. They were lucky to live in a small city where there was a wonderful nonprofit nursing home, so the care was quite good.

My ILs lived a very comfortable UMC life and still do. Given the latter, there is a great possibility we may end up paying for them at some point as they blew through a lot of their funds over a two-decade span. They have very good LTC insurance and that will help. We are fortunate that helping them will not necessarily penalize our kids. But it does irk me that my MiL occasionally made snide comments about my parents’ finances and now we may be helping her because she didn’t pay enough attention to her own. [/quote]

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