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[quote=Anonymous]Marry someone who is kind to you and supportive of your independence and achievement, has a demonstrated history of doing half of the work of your joint relationship and housekeeping and friendship ties, with whom you have had detailed discussions about life goals and dreams including whether either of you wants kids and how you envision raising them, disciplining them, paying for them and how you will split all the labor equitably.

Do not marry anyone who lies to you about even the smallest thing - neither lies of commission or omission.  Do not marry someone who does not have a demonstrated history of purposeful, career-oriented work without significant gaps or firings.

Be very careful about marrying someone with demonstrated mental illness or substance abuse, himself or in the family - they should be diagnosed, seeing a psychiatrist, therapist and willing to take medication and exercise as well as being committed to limiting substance use. They should have a good understanding about how the mental illness and/or substance use has affected them and their family and friends, as well as how it will impact any future kids. [/quote]

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