Reply to Dad’s new “companion” after mom’s death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is one of those situations where you parent yourself and remind yourself [b]all feelings are valid,[/b] all behaviors are not. Despite the snark on here I’m sure every poster can understand it is hard to hear about a new woman - it’s a reminder your mom is gone, that time moves forward, that your dad is a human separate from “dad/husband” and lots of other knee jerk feelings bc it pokes at your pain

However while you’re human and have emotion driven vs logic driven feelings (that’s the nature of feelings) things like refusing to meet the woman which punishes your dad unfairly and will damage your relationship and is a bid at controlling your dad and even things like putting “companion” in snark quotes like she’s not a real person and companion isn’t a real and important role are behaviors you need to stomp out, just like you’d expect your own child to stop impulse behaviors.  Get therapy to do that if needed[/quote]

Not all feelings are valid, pp. We need to stop with that fiction.[/quote]

NP - feelings are real to the people feeling them.  You have to acknowledge that before you can help people tolerate them and reappraise associated thoughts.  Digging in about "objective truth" and insisting people are "wrong" to feel a certain way is useless.[/quote]

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