Reply to Anyone else hope their kid stays close to home for college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unless your family is horribly toxic, [b]I think most would like to be able to be close to their families as they start families.[/b]

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I thought this thread was about where kids go to college, not where they'll live when they start families.

Two totally different things.  None of our kids live in the city where they attended college.[/quote]

People are tying all of it together.

The idea that kids choose to go far to school to get away from toxic families was floated.

Then people were talking about how we’re all so disconnected with our families these days because we choose to be far from our families, either during or after school.

I was simply noting that unless your family is toxic, many would ideally choose life near families once they started one of their own. I know we have considered many scenarios to make that possible. We are within a couple hours of my family, but still far from his.

I went 8 hours from home for school because it was the best school for me. My daughter is doing the same. She’ll figure out after she graduates her next step. And we will love and support her as we always have, including her extended family whether we are physically close or not. Being more than 2-3 hours doesn’t lead to detachment or whatever some of these posters have in mind. We care about our families and value those connections just as much as those who all live in the same town.[/quote]

If anything, not being physically close to your kids means when you do gather, it is truly quality time.  We have a 26yo living 2K and a 21 yo 3K away at college.  We saw the 26yo for over 30 days in the last year.  Thanks to vacations (we invite and pay for them and any SO), holidays and us visiting them.  They've seen their sibling almost as much.

I guess I don't get it---if my kids lived 45 mins away, I still would likely only see them 2-3 times per month for part of a day.  They would have a life with their work (40-50 hours/week), work friends, other friends, a SO, and just being a 20 something.  So sure we might see them on Friday evening or Sat afternoon 2 times per month.  But I certainly wouldn't expect them to spend all weekend with us.  Just like I wouldn't plan to spend all weekend with them---we have friends, hobbies, activities that we enjoy and would want to live our life.  
I think that is healthy.  I would never expect my kid to spend Sat day and night with their parents every weekend when they are 25.

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