Reply to Can someone explain to me why so many on here would never remarry?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If someone sticks a needle in my eye, why would I pull it out and stick it back in again? [/quote]

Amen!

It’s just as easy to emotionally walk away from a relationship as it is from a marriage: marriage conveys no certainty other than that it’s very expensive to get out of.

I’m 48 and have waited six years to meet someone special. I’ve dated along the way for fun and sex when the right person came along. And I’ve met someone special. And they give me butterflies and make me excited to wake up every single morning.

The difference is now I come from a well rooted place where I’ve healed from my divorce and I was waking up happy before I met this person- and I’ll wake up happy again should this person leave. Because I’m happy and whole.

When I entered into my marriage I was seeking completion. I was codependent and wanted a family so badly that I overlooked all of the red flags. Our marriage produced truly great children, but nearly cost me my life. So much destruction came from my exH. It was wanton and cruel and bizarre and scary.

I’m just not interested in worrying about promising anything more than today to a partner. That’s what love really is / it’s showing up every day, invested. NOT literally every day- I love to have lots of space and then meaningful fun quality time together with a partner. No blending families. No cohabitating. No mingling of finances.

I’m so happy for people who have great marriages. My whole family is full of truly healthy ones, ones that are rooted in deep love and mutual respect. Imperfect but real and loving. My experience was really bad. I own my role in that and the flags I overlooked and the choices I made. I  don’t fault the institution- but I also don’t want it again, for me.

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