Reply to Over 50 and Older sister not speaking to me for more than 10 years

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nobody cuts off a close family member without good reason. Nobody.

[b]When you hurt people, don't expect to get away with it indefinitely. [/b][/quote]

NP here.  Wondering why this old thread was revived?

Anyway, OP you have to know who is good for you and who is bad for you, in life.  Your sister is not good for you, and life is too short.  Sounds simplistic but it is true.  For example, can your sister be happy if you had something good happen to you?  Probably not.  If you are the younger sibling, your sister may have really had a hard time trying to accept that she is no longer the baby of the family.  Some people are like that, some people carry that with them throughout life.  It is not your issue.  If your sister was favored, ask yourself, would you want to be her? Really? I would not.

Continue living your best life, and surround yourself with positive.  When you go back home to visit, call up your old friends and tell them you are in town.  You would be surprised how fun and validating it can be to surround yourself who knew you when. I know people who have beach houses in their home state, and they have non stop visits from their childhood (and school and work and beyond) friends.

Not saying you should buy a beach house, but spending time with people who love and appreciate and don't carry contempt for you (or anyone, really) is priceless.  Make it a habitual practice. Learn to join groups and cultivate friends at work and in groups here, too.  There are nice people everywhere. Nice people don't exclude you, talk crap about you, and treat you like your sister treats you. If you are worried about whom your sister talks to - do you really think that your mutual friends and family don't know the truth?  They most certainly do.

Your sister might be someone who does not know how to be happy, and she takes that out on you.  She also seems to be selfish, and try to demean and underestimate you - that is to your advantage, use it. Let her talk. If you haven't seen her in so long, what difference does it make?  Do you think you are missing out on something?  If it is not a positive experience when you see her, she does not appreciate you, you have nothing in common - then you are missing nothing, and your relationship really does not matter.

She is not the type who can be happy for others, that should be all you need to know.  She may feel threatened by you - your presence, your successes, anything she conjures up. No loss on your end. Those are her issues, OP.  You have nothing to apologize for, from what you have mentioned. [/quote]

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