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[quote=Anonymous]"They complain because white students get better treatment but don't seem to realize that the white parents are definitely going to have no problem being the squeaky wheel... 
Hi white mom of AA child. I appreciate your observations and know that you will advocate on behalf of your child (ren) which is really important they will always need your awareness and for you to be on their side. 
I also wanted to say that you may mean well but you really shouldn't paint AA parents (as backing down) as that is a  bit of a broad brush generalization. You realize  through your experiences with your child that if things get heated  the AA parents are usually going to be stigmatized ?

I've never been known to back down (from anything worthwhile) and have tried the  squeaky approach  before having to really fight.  I've had to be a formidable advocate on behalf of my child  b/c he has a disability. At times this leads to what I will call the crazy black mom treatment (CBMT). Other AA moms tell me that if their child had a disability (an the federal backing that provides) they would have to opt for CBMT as well but that life being the uphilll battle they  try to join the Parent Association in the hope that that is a means to make things better--- especially for their sons.
CBMT-For example when an administrator (the same one I noted above who was dirisive of my son;s HS admission accomplishment despite him being on  honor roll mid year) had at the beginning of  the 8th grade labeled him as an aggressor  for putting his hands on two boys  each twice his size (he did so defensively after they had  bullied  and touched and repeatedly). I had to inform her that I would be filling a suite with OCR because of her obvious inability to protect  a child with  a disability  (and no I didn't say it softly). I then asked the administrator  to provide me the bullying reports from the incidences that had been documented  the previous school year. She couldn't find them.
  The director of the school called me later and upon my return and  'ever so sweetly ' shared with  me the parent handbook section on civility and asked that I please not yell in the future. I informed her ever so softly that neither my son nor I were being treated in a civil manner and asked her if she had anything else to say. She had nothing to say. Unfortunately some   administrators (of all backgrounds)  behave as if a parents is bullying them when it is they who are  being negligent in their duties to appropriately support well being of children in their care.
 But she did have her staff follow up with me to set up an appointment and we did eventually get  to a better place. This was somewhat aided  by my son therapist from children's hospital (a  wonderful  woman who is also  white and had visited the school on my son's behalf). This therapist also threaten to document her observation of  the school from the end of the previous year if the bullying did not stop immediately.
In terms  of squeaky,  I tried the 7th grade year including  email, meetings with counselors, teachers, requesting that bullying be documented and receiving confirmation that it had been...... Didn't work. 
  I found that I have to use the force of law (and  other social institutions like hospitals)  to get administrators to respect my son and  I. All the while receiving the lets be oh so  civil while allowing neglect and bad treatment to reigned supreme.

So no backing down from administrators is not really a pattern I see. Most AA parent I know are up for the battle when it really matters, they are just more apt to be socially stigmatized when they have to fight the good fight.  
 Funny thing though, once the administration realized that this not a battle they could get through unscathed the bullying stopped. Amazing.

While I don't want to overgeneralize, I am not sure that squeaky works the same way  in US culture for AA parents as it does for white parents . But to be transparent another mom  at the school who is a friend of mine also encountered administrative BS that she felt was very unfair and damaging to her white son as well. 
Sorry this isn't really well written. But I really want to drive a point here.
My point is that often what parents get out of a situation is really not proportional to their efforts (which may be monumental without real progress). We are far from a meritocracy and the gaps that persist are due to  a number of academic and social factors. For instance I  read that bullying  effects overall  achievement  at a school by 7 percentage  points. 
In addition to some of the academic skills I noted above IMO that could explain some of the gap as well.[/quote]

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