Anonymous wrote:Did anyone on here actually go to college and learn about American history and how there are unintended consequences caused by government policies? I find it amusing and sad that such smart people can have a very flat perspective on history and boil stuff down to really stupid soundbites.

Sure, blame everyone else.

What about taking responsibility for your own life?

When I fell on hard times, I sucked it up, moved to where I could get work and afford to live, and got back on track. I didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, looking for some government program to exploit or looking for somebody else to blame.

Did anyone on here actually go to college and learn about American history and how there are unintended consequences caused by government policies? I find it amusing and sad that such smart people can have a very flat perspective on history and boil stuff down to really stupid soundbites.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it requires a paradigm shift in the black community, as many prominent blacks have noted. The legacy of slavery was poverty and then a dependency on government handouts, which bred a sense of entitlement. But, that's not going to get people anywhere in this life.

Not true. In fact, AA families and communities pulled together and quickly created a vibrant economy which rivaled that of the Asian communities who get so much credit for that (deservedly so, no envy). AAs used to marry, and raise intact families, and excel in ambition, just like any other American sub-group, long after slavery was over, and in spite of Jim Crow.

The scourge of the AA family is the "Great Society" and the creation of welfare dependency - which demanded the dissolution of families in order to receive financial reward. Three generations of that disincentive to create a strong family/reward for single parent homes has decimated the AA community. It's now the norm for AAs to be raised in a single parent household. "Marriage is for white people." Daniel Patrick Moynihan (yes, the famous and lauded liberal) [url=http://www.nationalaffairs.com/public_interest/detail/how-the-great-society-destroyed-the-american-family
]told us this would happen[/url].

The "legacy of slavery" isn't the problem, the AA community overcame that.

Nobody ever put a gun to anyone's head and demanded they go on welfare. And from there, the rest of the argument falls apart.

22:32, you love my crazy and I pity the fool. I guess we can call it a draw.

Anonymous wrote:I think it requires a paradigm shift in the black community, as many prominent blacks have noted. The legacy of slavery was poverty and then a dependency on government handouts, which bred a sense of entitlement. But, that's not going to get people anywhere in this life.

Not true. In fact, AA families and communities pulled together and quickly created a vibrant economy which rivaled that of the Asian communities who get so much credit for that (deservedly so, no envy). AAs used to marry, and raise intact families, and excel in ambition, just like any other American sub-group, long after slavery was over, and in spite of Jim Crow.

The scourge of the AA family is the "Great Society" and the creation of welfare dependency - which demanded the dissolution of families in order to receive financial reward. Three generations of that disincentive to create a strong family/reward for single parent homes has decimated the AA community. It's now the norm for AAs to be raised in a single parent household. "Marriage is for white people." Daniel Patrick Moynihan (yes, the famous and lauded liberal) [url=http://www.nationalaffairs.com/public_interest/detail/how-the-great-society-destroyed-the-american-family
]told us this would happen[/url].

The "legacy of slavery" isn't the problem, the AA community overcame that.

Anonymous wrote:"They complain because white students get better treatment but don't seem to realize that the white parents are definitely going to have no problem being the squeaky wheel...
Hi white mom of AA child. I appreciate your observations and know that you will advocate on behalf of your child (ren) which is really important they will always need your awareness and for you to be on their side.
I also wanted to say that you may mean well but you really shouldn't paint AA parents (as backing down) as that is a bit of a broad brush generalization. You realize through your experiences with your child that if things get heated the AA parents are usually going to be stigmatized ?

Yes, you are right - I should have made such a broad generalization. And unfortunately, I am aware of the stigma that AA parents face particularly women who stand up for themselves and their kids. It sounds like you had quite an experience getting your son the services he needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As one types and hits send, shouldn't cause an alarm for the GUM police to come on this blog. To read a blog and respond with "learn to write" just wants me to bully you unmercifully, you are asking for it. I digress.

Word salad Eastern poster-- how I adore you. As I write a private school check I can't afford, you, a proud dcps grad, remind me it's all worth it! Please keep up your crazy!

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is someone equating going to the Smithsonian as a teaching tool that will cure AA's problems in school? If that was the case, the average native Washingtonian has not visited the tourist attractions here in DC. C'mon, it can't be that plain and simple to say, the only thing parents need to do is tour and read to their children. Once that is done, you are destined to have a scholarly child.

I know some residents that will tour all of the Washington landmarks and read to their children in the park but will not venture into SE or certain sections of NE because of what they read as adults. Sheesh!!

No, you totally miss the point. The point is that if parents won't even bother to avail themselves of the MANY FREE, FUN, EASY, WORLD CLASS educational opportunities all around them, like the Smithsonians, then they evidently do not take any serious interest in their childrens' educations at all - and if the problem's at home with totally unsupportive, apathetic parents that don't give a damn about their childrens' success, then even the best schools in the world will have a hard time fixing the problem.

You know that may be some parents, but I don't really think it is most parents. There have been some interesting ethnographical studies on this issue and what they found is that these parents really did not feel comfortable in these spaces. But also many of these parents don't quite see opportunity the same way... if you work a minimum wage job you have someone telling you what to do all the time, you have very little control of most of your time and life is not about career. For these parents life is a drudge and so they don't see childhood as a the time for building your child's skills they see it as the only time they will actually be able to have fun before the drudgery of life starts. There is a book called Unequal Childhoods that does an interesting examination of this issue. It is easy to look down on people, but the reality is that many of just see the world differently, what I am more concerned about is that kids that may have the skills and talent and work ethic to do more can because our society provides those opportunities.

And, that's how the cycle just keeps on continuing because when that is the attitude, there is no escaping minimum wages and a life of drudgery, ever.

Anonymous wrote:As one types and hits send, shouldn't cause an alarm for the GUM police to come on this blog. To read a blog and respond with "learn to write" just wants me to bully you unmercifully, you are asking for it. I digress.

Word salad Eastern poster-- how I adore you. As I write a private school check I can't afford, you, a proud dcps grad, remind me it's all worth it! Please keep up your crazy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is someone equating going to the Smithsonian as a teaching tool that will cure AA's problems in school? If that was the case, the average native Washingtonian has not visited the tourist attractions here in DC. C'mon, it can't be that plain and simple to say, the only thing parents need to do is tour and read to their children. Once that is done, you are destined to have a scholarly child.

I know some residents that will tour all of the Washington landmarks and read to their children in the park but will not venture into SE or certain sections of NE because of what they read as adults. Sheesh!!

No, you totally miss the point. The point is that if parents won't even bother to avail themselves of the MANY FREE, FUN, EASY, WORLD CLASS educational opportunities all around them, like the Smithsonians, then they evidently do not take any serious interest in their childrens' educations at all - and if the problem's at home with totally unsupportive, apathetic parents that don't give a damn about their childrens' success, then even the best schools in the world will have a hard time fixing the problem.

You know that may be some parents, but I don't really think it is most parents. There have been some interesting ethnographical studies on this issue and what they found is that these parents really did not feel comfortable in these spaces. But also many of these parents don't quite see opportunity the same way... if you work a minimum wage job you have someone telling you what to do all the time, you have very little control of most of your time and life is not about career. For these parents life is a drudge and so they don't see childhood as a the time for building your child's skills they see it as the only time they will actually be able to have fun before the drudgery of life starts. There is a book called Unequal Childhoods that does an interesting examination of this issue. It is easy to look down on people, but the reality is that many of just see the world differently, what I am more concerned about is that kids that may have the skills and talent and work ethic to do more can because our society provides those opportunities.

Anonymous wrote:Is someone equating going to the Smithsonian as a teaching tool that will cure AA's problems in school? If that was the case, the average native Washingtonian has not visited the tourist attractions here in DC. C'mon, it can't be that plain and simple to say, the only thing parents need to do is tour and read to their children. Once that is done, you are destined to have a scholarly child.

I know some residents that will tour all of the Washington landmarks and read to their children in the park but will not venture into SE or certain sections of NE because of what they read as adults. Sheesh!!

No, you totally miss the point. The point is that if parents won't even bother to avail themselves of the MANY FREE, FUN, EASY, WORLD CLASS educational opportunities all around them, like the Smithsonians, then they evidently do not take any serious interest in their childrens' educations at all - and if the problem's at home with totally unsupportive, apathetic parents that don't give a damn about their childrens' success, then even the best schools in the world will have a hard time fixing the problem.

As one types and hits send, shouldn't cause an alarm for the GUM police to come on this blog. To read a blog and respond with "learn to write" just wants me to bully you unmercifully, you are asking for it. I digress.

Some surprising info from this brand new study that offers another perspective to what people have been posting:
The American Family Assets Study

Building on 20 years of developmental assets research, Search Institute conducted a national research study to identify a set of "Family Assets" that make a major difference in the lives of both kids and parenting adults. The study shows that the more of these Family Assets families experience, the better off family members are. They are more satisfied with their lives, healthier, and more engaged with the community around them. Kids from families with more assets are also more likely to engage in learning at school and develop close relationships with others.
http://www.search-institute.org/familyassets/study

"They complain because white students get better treatment but don't seem to realize that the white parents are definitely going to have no problem being the squeaky wheel...
Hi white mom of AA child. I appreciate your observations and know that you will advocate on behalf of your child (ren) which is really important they will always need your awareness and for you to be on their side.
I also wanted to say that you may mean well but you really shouldn't paint AA parents (as backing down) as that is a bit of a broad brush generalization. You realize through your experiences with your child that if things get heated the AA parents are usually going to be stigmatized ?

I've never been known to back down (from anything worthwhile) and have tried the squeaky approach before having to really fight. I've had to be a formidable advocate on behalf of my child b/c he has a disability. At times this leads to what I will call the crazy black mom treatment (CBMT). Other AA moms tell me that if their child had a disability (an the federal backing that provides) they would have to opt for CBMT as well but that life being the uphilll battle they try to join the Parent Association in the hope that that is a means to make things better--- especially for their sons.
CBMT-For example when an administrator (the same one I noted above who was dirisive of my son;s HS admission accomplishment despite him being on honor roll mid year) had at the beginning of the 8th grade labeled him as an aggressor for putting his hands on two boys each twice his size (he did so defensively after they had bullied and touched and repeatedly). I had to inform her that I would be filling a suite with OCR because of her obvious inability to protect a child with a disability (and no I didn't say it softly). I then asked the administrator to provide me the bullying reports from the incidences that had been documented the previous school year. She couldn't find them.
The director of the school called me later and upon my return and 'ever so sweetly ' shared with me the parent handbook section on civility and asked that I please not yell in the future. I informed her ever so softly that neither my son nor I were being treated in a civil manner and asked her if she had anything else to say. She had nothing to say. Unfortunately some administrators (of all backgrounds) behave as if a parents is bullying them when it is they who are being negligent in their duties to appropriately support well being of children in their care.
But she did have her staff follow up with me to set up an appointment and we did eventually get to a better place. This was somewhat aided by my son therapist from children's hospital (a wonderful woman who is also white and had visited the school on my son's behalf). This therapist also threaten to document her observation of the school from the end of the previous year if the bullying did not stop immediately.
In terms of squeaky, I tried the 7th grade year including email, meetings with counselors, teachers, requesting that bullying be documented and receiving confirmation that it had been...... Didn't work.
I found that I have to use the force of law (and other social institutions like hospitals) to get administrators to respect my son and I. All the while receiving the lets be oh so civil while allowing neglect and bad treatment to reigned supreme.

So no backing down from administrators is not really a pattern I see. Most AA parent I know are up for the battle when it really matters, they are just more apt to be socially stigmatized when they have to fight the good fight.
Funny thing though, once the administration realized that this not a battle they could get through unscathed the bullying stopped. Amazing.

While I don't want to overgeneralize, I am not sure that squeaky works the same way in US culture for AA parents as it does for white parents . But to be transparent another mom at the school who is a friend of mine also encountered administrative BS that she felt was very unfair and damaging to her white son as well.
Sorry this isn't really well written. But I really want to drive a point here.
My point is that often what parents get out of a situation is really not proportional to their efforts (which may be monumental without real progress). We are far from a meritocracy and the gaps that persist are due to a number of academic and social factors. For instance I read that bullying effects overall achievement at a school by 7 percentage points.
In addition to some of the academic skills I noted above IMO that could explain some of the gap as well.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, tests like the SAT, GRE, MCAT, LSAT, DC CAS... You can argue about how tests don't matter but none of us would have gotten in to the college and grad schools nor have professions if we hadn't done well on tests... And I'm not talking about becoming a legal secretary or having that ambition for our kids.

Unlike the dc cas U can take the GMAT sat gre bar exams multiple times