Reply to I think I’m being taken advantage of by DD friend’s mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These are 10 year olds, not toddlers. 9 is late for a school night, but it’s not THAT late. This sort of seems like a regular play date, and not a huge imposition to me.  My kid had sports until 9:30 once or twice a week at that age. I wouldn’t assume the mom picked this specific day just to try to get some free child care - maybe she doesn’t realize 9 is super late for you? And you said it was fine, so how is she to know you’re all upset about it?! Is your 10yo your oldest and you have little ones to put to bed earlier? My kids are around 10 now (some older, some younger) and they sometimes hang out at friends houses, or we have friends here, till 9. I’d say 3/5 week nights I am feeding other kids dinner and/or my kids are getting fed elsewhere. But this is all within the neighborhood and usually spur of the moment.

I think you need to get to know the mom better to have a better understanding of if you’re being taken advantage of. And if you actually have something else to do that day, by all means suggest a different date! Sibling has sports at 7 and your DH isn’t around? Sorry, try for another day! [/quote]

This! You don’t need to assume she’s trying to take advantage of you. She could be disorganized (for whatever reason) or could be in a job where she has no control over last minute schedule changes.

If it doesn’t work for you then reschedule.[/quote]

I mean, whether she is trying to take advantage or not, she is putting extra burdens on OP. She invited her daughter over to OP’s house (OP did not reach out to extend the invite). She knew this would mean OP would have to do the carpool line, which is an extra ask. She knew she works late on that day yet suggested it as a convenient day for her daughter to come. And she knew that the grandma lives far away from OP and that she’s not willing for the grandma to come pick up. All of this is taking advantage of OP, who is essentially a stranger to her. All you people saying 9pm mom used her words are wrong. She withheld details and manipulated the situation. She is 100 percent not in a bind. She has a local grandma who could cover for her and she is librarian. I can’t think of a single library where a 10 year old girl could not sit and read or do homework quietly if mom needed her to come along. She’s a taker, plain and simple. [/quote]

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