Reply to Parents of 3- do you wish you’d stopped at 2 or 1

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a parent of two, I consider a third because I think having more kids diffuses competition and self centeredness among overly coddles two children families.

My husband is one of two and his sister, although nice, is one of the most vain and self centered (and spoiled) people I’ve met. I 100% believe this outcome is a result of my in laws providing too much intense attention and coddling.

In general people I know from bigger families are close with their siblings and learned early how to exist amongst other people.

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As someone who comes from a family of four, more children don't diffuse competition. You just give up and resign to the fact that your parents are not going to be able to meet many of your emotional needs. You are forced to grow up and become independent quickly, often leaping past developmental stages.[/quote]

I’m sorry PP, that sucks. I’m also 1 of 4 kids, and my parents did a lot of stuff wrong (ha), but they did raise us to celebrate and enjoy our siblings. There was no competition between us, and I believe that is because our parents made sure to never compare us - we were celebrated as individuals with our own strengths and weaknesses.

I don’t know how they did it, but they did meet my emotional needs and I had a “normal” childhood in terms of development and independence. It probably helped A LOT that was mom was a SAHM. [/quote]

I'm an only but all of the "families" in my family are 4-6 kids. It's SO dependent on the individual family dynamics. My dad is one of four and had Ana amazing childhood, is incredibly close to his siblings (talks to them all every day at age 78). My husband is one of six and close to his siblings and parents. All of his siblings are professionally successful and married with kids. Zero family drama. Two aunts are one of seven and same.

My mom is one of four and her parents were quintessentially checked out mid century parents focused on bridge and golf. She and her siblings competed for their attention and are super screwed up as adults because of it.

I think success or failure as large family comes down to parents and the family culture they instill. [/quote]

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