Reply to Should I contact birth child?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Should I contact birth child?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem with the forums, texts, emails, etc. is that it is impossible to fully understand the writer's meaning without seeing body language, voice inflection, tone, etc.  I don't think that any of us can get inside OPs head and "know" with the certainty that many are suggesting that she has not concern for the thoughts of feelings of her biological daughter.  "Going to college" does not necessarily equate to being an artful writer.  It is quite dangerous to assume that you know someone's intent or fully understand what is going on in their mind. [b] I have to question, whether a substantial amount of the vitriol is coming from women who are judging the OP for have made the choice to place her child for adoption because they cannot imagine having made that choice themselves. [/b] As the saying goes, [b]"Walk a mile in her shoes....." [/b] For your daughter's sake, OP I hope you ignore all of the nasty posters and give your daughter a chance to meet you if she so choses.  [/quote]

I've been thinking this as well.  Possibly because women who have chosen or would choose abortion feel somehow judged or threatened by women who choose life and adoption for their babies.

The act of placing a child for adoption is ultimately an act of love.  Since humans are complicated creatures, [b]there may also be fear, or desperation, or denial, or naïveté, [/b]or a million other emotions or thoughts at work, but there still comes the moment of goodbye, [b]And any woman who is brave enough to face that moment for the sake of giving her child the gift of life deserves deference and compassion.[/quote][/b]

I posted previously about how the OP still seemed childish. I am not judging her for having given her child up for  adoption. But you all are quick to jump to her defense without thinking about how that child felt with she tried to reach out.  Why are you all, not thinking of her? I am coming from a place of being treated badly by my birth parents, who raised me, but still didn't gt why I would be upset about their ill treatment. They made similar comments to the comments that the OP made and my mom "friended" me on facebook so I could see pictures of my family without her actually needing to interact with me. My parents thinking is similar to the OP: I went to law school. I'm fine. So what's the problem? . OP reasoned that her daughter  couldn't have felt THAT rejected beause she went to a "gorgeous" university.(emphasis from OP) Really? Because after working up the courage and working through all the human emotions, it wouldn't be hard for her to be contacted by OP after OP rebuffed her? And OP just wants her to view her facebook pics and doens't seem to understand how she could have hurt the daughter and how her request could seem insensitive/indifferent. All of you are ASSUMING that we are judging her for having giving up her child for adoption when that is not true, at least not in my case. Her unwillingness to see the hurt she may produce in this child with her flippant attitude and her previous actions (reecting the initial contact- not the actual adoption) is what I am reacting to .  Any child who is brave enough to face that moment of contacting their birth mother who gave them the gift of life deserves deference and compassion.  OP, is not willing to give that child that deference. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics