Reply to AITA for not wanting DH to give MIL 4K to clear a debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I think you should gift her the $4k, but I would let your husband know where you stand on any future assistance after this point.  I would have a serious problem with a spouse that stood in my way to gifting this to my own mother - do it for your husband not your MIL.[/quote]

But why should anyone believe you and your mother wouldn't come back for more? Giving anything at all sets a bad precedent and opens the door to repeated requests. Her financial situation is awful, she makes bad decisions and can't afford her lifestyle, why would anyone believe $4K is the end?[/quote]

You are different ground with your spouse when you can point out that he agreed to a one time gift in the past than you are never helping in the first place.  I don’t agree that this sounds like an out of control spending MIL either.[/quote]

I don't think it sounds like that either.

I also wouldn't lay down a line about NEVER supporting MIL again because (hopefully) life is long. [/quote]

I wouldn't lay down that line because it's obvious they and SIL are going to have to pay in the future. If SIL is having a baby she might not have much spare cash. And don't tell me this babysitting "job" is going to work out-- who would hire a babysitter who is unwilling to work or be reliable?

Again, it's not about out of control spending. It's about not having enough savings, making bad choices, being clueless, and being in denial. OP and her DH will pay. The only question is when and how.[/quote]

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