Reply to Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?

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Reply to "Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?[/quote]

As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.  [/quote]

If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.

Not forcing a child is not alienation.  [/quote]

So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that?  Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.[/quote]

You are trying to be purposefully obtuse. You can enforce those things up until about HS and then they either do it or they don't. If a father hasn't cultivated a parenting relationship with his child/ren up until then and they don't want to see him, it is NOT the mother's job to be the bad cop. I'm positive that if they didn't want to come back to her house, he would not enforce that either. [/quote]

Yes, it is the mothers job to support the relationship.  They know you don't want them to have a relationship and they will honor your wishes.  Yes, you can enforce those things.  Checked out parent like you are why kids have so many mental health and other behavioral issues.  They need and want their parents support and co-parenting is part of it.  He absolutely would have to enforce kids returning to her home, even with abuse or neglect.  That's how i works.  There is a court order.  [/quote]

Oh I am far from checked out. I parent my child 100% of the time. The dad comes over twice a month for a long lunch. If my kid didn't want to go at 14 I am not going to play the bad cop and make him. See, if it was that important to dad to have a relationship with his child, he would get his ass up to take him to school, talk to his teachers, take him to the doctor, take him when he is sick. But it's not important  to him. SO he doesn't. He leaves all of that up to me. And then I'm supposed to be like "your father loves you and you HAVE to go with him." F that noise. SHow up for your kid when it matters. Not just when the right mood strikes you.

And before you say I wanted this, I didn't. He left, and he freely forked over custody. I would have very much welcomed a break every once in  a while when the kid was little.[/quote]

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