Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:48
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
You are trying to be purposefully obtuse. You can enforce those things up until about HS and then they either do it or they don't. If a father hasn't cultivated a parenting relationship with his child/ren up until then and they don't want to see him, it is NOT the mother's job to be the bad cop. I'm positive that if they didn't want to come back to her house, he would not enforce that either.
Yes, it is the mothers job to support the relationship. They know you don't want them to have a relationship and they will honor your wishes. Yes, you can enforce those things. Checked out parent like you are why kids have so many mental health and other behavioral issues. They need and want their parents support and co-parenting is part of it. He absolutely would have to enforce kids returning to her home, even with abuse or neglect. That's how i works. There is a court order.
Oh I am far from checked out. I parent my child 100% of the time. The dad comes over twice a month for a long lunch. If my kid didn't want to go at 14 I am not going to play the bad cop and make him. See, if it was that important to dad to have a relationship with his child, he would get his ass up to take him to school, talk to his teachers, take him to the doctor, take him when he is sick. But it's not important to him. SO he doesn't. He leaves all of that up to me. And then I'm supposed to be like "your father loves you and you HAVE to go with him." F that noise. SHow up for your kid when it matters. Not just when the right mood strikes you.
And before you say I wanted this, I didn't. He left, and he freely forked over custody. I would have very much welcomed a break every once in a while when the kid was little.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:38
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
You are trying to be purposefully obtuse. You can enforce those things up until about HS and then they either do it or they don't. If a father hasn't cultivated a parenting relationship with his child/ren up until then and they don't want to see him, it is NOT the mother's job to be the bad cop. I'm positive that if they didn't want to come back to her house, he would not enforce that either.
Yes, it is the mothers job to support the relationship. They know you don't want them to have a relationship and they will honor your wishes. Yes, you can enforce those things. Checked out parent like you are why kids have so many mental health and other behavioral issues. They need and want their parents support and co-parenting is part of it. He absolutely would have to enforce kids returning to her home, even with abuse or neglect. That's how i works. There is a court order.
Except you suck & that’s why your kids don’t want to see you. You also moved far away and choose not to have 50/50.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:38
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:I would never skip my part-time job, sports, a school dance or studying to go visit my “dad” who purposely moved 90 minutes away.
Because you are a brat and then the first to complain that everything is more important and upset when he stops paying extras and college and don't understand. Dad probably moved 90 minutes away as that was all he could afford after child support, alimony and other expenses. You cannot maintain the same lifestyle as when you were married. If you are working, you can pay rent and your own expenses so maybe you should tell the judge you will not visit and will financially support yourself so he isn't needed in your life.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:36
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
You are trying to be purposefully obtuse. You can enforce those things up until about HS and then they either do it or they don't. If a father hasn't cultivated a parenting relationship with his child/ren up until then and they don't want to see him, it is NOT the mother's job to be the bad cop. I'm positive that if they didn't want to come back to her house, he would not enforce that either.
Yes, it is the mothers job to support the relationship. They know you don't want them to have a relationship and they will honor your wishes. Yes, you can enforce those things. Checked out parent like you are why kids have so many mental health and other behavioral issues. They need and want their parents support and co-parenting is part of it. He absolutely would have to enforce kids returning to her home, even with abuse or neglect. That's how i works. There is a court order.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:34
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
You can’t really regulate interpersonal relationships. Dad needs to be someone the kid wants to see and talk to. That’s on him. The true test is once the kid is 18 and can’t be coerced. If they maintain a relationship, ya done good. If not, well…
You absolutely regulate it with your behavior and actions and it's not important to you and you don't want the relationship and kids pick up on it. He cannot be involved without your support. And, yet, you cut him off and then complain come 18, he cuts them/you off financially and don't get why. This is why.
Grow up and be a parent. If you are the custodial parent, it is absolutely your responsibility, just like it is to get your kids to go to school and do their homework.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:31
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
You are trying to be purposefully obtuse. You can enforce those things up until about HS and then they either do it or they don't. If a father hasn't cultivated a parenting relationship with his child/ren up until then and they don't want to see him, it is NOT the mother's job to be the bad cop. I'm positive that if they didn't want to come back to her house, he would not enforce that either.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:09
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
You can’t really regulate interpersonal relationships. Dad needs to be someone the kid wants to see and talk to. That’s on him. The true test is once the kid is 18 and can’t be coerced. If they maintain a relationship, ya done good. If not, well…
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:07
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
I would never skip my part-time job, sports, a school dance or studying to go visit my “dad” who purposely moved 90 minutes away.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:06
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.
Not forcing a child is not alienation.
So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that? Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:05
Subject: Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.
It's not her job to manage his relationship with his kids. If he calls them on their phone and they don't answer or call back, it's not up to her to fix that relationship.
Actually it is up to her if it's court ordered to make sure the phone calls happen, especially with younger kids who don't have their own phone. It's called being a parent. How is that so hard for you to understand?
Anonymous
05/10/2023 16:05
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
Come on over and enforce it, then.
I do in my home. Speaks volumes about your parenting.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 13:41
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
Nah. If I don’t want to go, I’m not going.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 13:40
Subject: Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.
It's not her job to manage his relationship with his kids. If he calls them on their phone and they don't answer or call back, it's not up to her to fix that relationship.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 13:05
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
Come on over and enforce it, then.
I know, right. The door is open.
Anonymous
05/10/2023 12:52
Subject: Re:Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?
As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.
Come on over and enforce it, then.