Reply to How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

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Reply to "How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A young man went to his local wine shop and asked for the most expensive vintage in stock, took it home, and shared it with his girlfriend.  They enjoyed every drop together and went to bed contentedly.  He never told her how much of his meager salary the wine had consumed.  Why does this anecdote, which happens to be true, make most women swoon?

A famous prostitute was once asked, "Why do men pay for sex when they could take a girl to dinner and get the same thing?"  She answered, "Men don't want to be bothered with dinner."

The successful seducer is simply the one who is willing to be bothered.  That the boyfriend never mentioned the cost is what gets women wet. They love the idea of men suffering selflessly for them.  Ordering champagne early on is announcing the cost and your expectation of reciprocation loud and clear.

Closeted gay men are often able to "fool" their unsuspecting wives for years because they are willing to take the infinite pains necessary to maintain the illusion.  The women who marry them are often the envy of their friends.  These husbands celebrate birthdays in big style and don't have to be asked twice to put their dirty socks in the hamper.

Are you willing to spend hours getting to know your target intimately and constructing the most effective strategies and tactics to employ?  Are you willing to listen to mind-numbingly dull stories about her spouse and kids when required?  Are you willing (as Richard Gere would not for Cindy Crawford) to send flowers although you think it's an utterly impersonal and empty gesture?  Are you willing to fly chocolate in from Belgium for her on Valentine's Day?  To take distance from her and pretend to have moved on if you realize that is the only way to correct a previous misstep?

How far are you willing to go?

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As a woman, I agree champagne at lunch would be odd.  A more subtle approach would be wine at lunch.  Have had that happen both at group work lunches (the boss ordered it) and at one on one lunches (again the boss ordered) and these lunches were strictly professional.  I would not necessarily assume alternative motives if wine was ordered with lunch.

As far as my expectations of my would be seducer who is presumably married, I would not expect gifts from him.  It would be an affair, not a relationship.  He wouldn't have to try to date me to keep me interested.  If I felt he was interested in me as an attractive woman (not a step by step plan to get me in bed) and we had fun together, that would be enough.  I would think because we both are married (and probably with children) we would be on the same page with realistic expectations from each other.
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