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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He showed you who he really is. Be glad it was now and not after you married and had kids with him. Block him and do not look back. If he apologizes, do not get get back together with him.  And learn to stay away from temperamental guys. [/quote]

This. Please, OP, do not second guess that while this is incredibly painful, the reality is that this guy is no good. He may have had nice qualities - many abusers do - but he is an abuser at his core. Get therapy to help you process the grief, which is very real. BUT DO NOT GET BACK WITH THIS MAN. He will get worse and worse with time. I speak from experience and now in the midst of a divorce with someone very similar. Do not do it. [/quote]
Op here. First of all, thank you everyone for the kind words. I am with my parents and calling/texting friends but just writing it out as has been helpful.

I do not think he meets the true definition of an abuser. I am not getting back together with him, don't worry, I just think calling him an abuser is unfair. We were happy together for many years until last week. He was moody, had a superiority complex, and could be a major douche at times, but I NEVER felt unsafe with him and I never felt disrespected to such an extent until the night he broke up with me.

Anyway, just wanted to clarify. Not white knighting for him because I am really hurt and frankly, pissed off, by the way he spoke to me. [/quote]

OP, being as gentle with this as I can, but this man is absolutely abusive. Telling you - or anyone - that they are hated, lower than a roach, and the other horrific things he said are all absolutely and unequivocally emotionally abusive things to say. Sure, he may have been nice to you for a while - again, many narcissistic abusers are. But that these things came out of his mouth is a major red flag and yes, it’s abuse. Please don’t normalize it. Because whether it’s this guy or someone else down the road, please know that this is abusive behavior. Watch out for yourself and stay vigilant and protective of yourself. So sorry you’re dealing with this.[/quote]

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